Here are great ways to shit on your workout.
1) Drink Too Much Pre-Workout
You think a lot of pre-workout will get you PUMPEEDDD?! Nah dudes, doing that is gonna make you feel like you're seeing stars and unicorns. Then you're going to be anxious -- REALLY DAMN ANXIOUS. You'll be laying on the ground, sweating profusely, wondering if you're gonna actually stop living.
2) Forget Your Sports Bra
I'm all about freeing the boobies, but us ladies know how the boob slap during the treadmill run don't feel too good -- especially for my big busted ladies. Forget your sports bra? Forget cardio. Maybe you're better off doing a few several sets of bicep curls (I guess that ain't so bad!)
3) Eat A Heavy Meal Prior To Workout
Listen, I know some of y'all wanna be like Dwayne Johnson, and eat piles of waffles and bacon and shiiii -- but you gotta hold your horses on the eating when you're about to workout. Unless you're trying to puke bacon bits while laying at the bench, be my guest. A overly full stomach for a workout won't do you much good. You'll probably have the shits, vomit, or worse -- you may pass out from the itis (when you are severely sleepy after eating huge amounts of foods.)
4) Going to the Gym Drunk
A hangover might be doable, but why the f*ck would you go to the gym drunk? That wobble walk you're doing over to the locker room is scary, lord knows wtf is going to happen to you as you fearlessly try to squat with 800 pounds on your back. Dude take your glutes back home, eat a few sandwiches, chug a gallon of water, and try to sober up. Missing one day of the gym isn't gonna kill you, but trying to handle weights when you're wasted might.
5) Bring The Wrong Shoes
It's totally doable to squat in running shoes (not optimal, but doable), or to hop on the elliptical with chucks, but goodness forbid the only shoes bring with you are your squat shoes and you were planning on running. Not gonna happen. I've tried once -- just don't do it. Just take your ass to the squat rack -- you're not running today.