2 years ago
Anonym
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Official Campaign Statement: Proof
It has come to my attention, as I have been lying in my bed, sneezing and coughing profusely, that my cats identity has been called into question. The mysterious account @TwiggyTuffsey surfaced today in service of my opponent @InPlainSight This is of course, not the real identity of my little cat Twiggins. Here is proof, a snapchat sent from my brother to me, proving that miss Tuffsey was in fact asleep when this account was created. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't trust a candidate that uses tactics like these. It was one thing to come after my own father, but another to come after my cat. This is war. Signed and endorsed, @tessstevens Vingle elections 2015
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@VinMcCarthy there is no scandal, there is only the truth, which is that twiggy is a cat, who lives in Ohio with my grumpy dad. She can't use a computer and she has no concept of Vingle elections. I'm looking for a VP and a PR liaison should any of you be interested. Thank you.
My policies will come out in the debates. My campaign announcement was an announcement. Not a platform
@TessStevens I'm flattered you asking...but unfortunately Joining any side is against journalism rules (no biases). I'll keep on asking questions and intimidate the candidates of this election and their allies, fake or real.