Do you trust Cosmo when it comes to dating advice?
Because while they occasionally have some good tips, they're not all winners. Over the years they've told us some... interesting things about relationships that we should probably all take with a grain of salt. Or in the case of Marvel's heroes, some sass and eyerolls. Take this one for example:
1. If he tells you about his day, he's hiding something.
Ummm what? Yup, according to Cosmo when a guy gives you too many details about his day, he's probably hiding something nefarious. Like a secret identity, or a plot to take over the world. Um, sure Cosmo.
2. "Keep a spray bottle filled with ice water next to the bed, and give each other a strategic spritz to extend the encounter… Aim for the nerve-packed, thin-skinned areas on each other's body, such as the nipples."
Steve Rogers is going to veto that one. Trust Capsicle, he knows what he's about.
3. If he's happy, he's hiding something."
Yup. That's right, every second of being in a relationship should be absolute hell for everyone involved. Oh wait, no it should be the opposite. But there's nothing like making people feel paranoid and insecure to sell magazines, right?
4. "Rent a horror movie and play it while you have sex. If they hear any screams, they'll assume it's the movie."
Bonus: You'll both be so traumatized you'll never want to touch each other ever again. Who knew Cosmo was in the business of permanent abstinence? Shut it down.
5. "Not ecofriendly? It could be a sign that he'll trash your relationship too."