AlloBaber
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Should I Let Him Date Other Women... When I'm His GF?

Vingle Love & Relationshippers!!

(Okay, first of all, we need a better nickname for ourselves. "Love & Relationshippers" is too long. Any thoughts on what we should be called??)
I recently had a friend reach out to me asking for some urgent relationship advice. She needs help resolving an interesting dating dilemma, so naturally, she turned to the Princess of Lurv!
I'm pasting her question here:

Okay, so I really need a second opinion here. J____ [Alli's note: let's call him J] just asked me to be his girlfriend. We would date under one condition: that he's allowed to date other people, and I should be fine with that. I really like him, but I've never done this sort of thing before.

Rather than give only my little ol' advice, I thought I'd open it up to the collective wisdom of the Vingle L&R team!! I'm talking about my main peeps (and a couple newcomers too :) ) @ButterflyBlu, @DeepakAswal, @ChriSingularis, @Arellano1052, @InPlainSight, @Luci546, @LAVONYORK, @ HachimitsuNoAji, @YuukiLove, @VinMcCarthy, @paulisaghost, @jordanhamilton... and anyone else who happens across this card!

What do you guys think?

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It depends on your capabilites and mentality. Personally, I'm with @jordanhamilton on this one. If you want to see other people, don't waste my time. I don't care how much I like them. I will never allow myself to be an option. Either we are together or we aren't. There's no "we're together... Along with these people." but that's just me. I'm big on monogamy and loyalty and dedication and allocating your energy and self for that one person. Following that, it's what I expect in return. I want your full attention and to be the full recipient of you. I believe I deserve the respect of that. But, again, that's just me. Make sure the two of you are on the same page. I know a few people who date around, but they don't have that labeled as actually dating each other, if that makes sense. If you're expecting a relationship, when he's just weighing his options, obviously your feelings are going to get serious, while his aren't, and that leads to you getting hurt. So, basically: be on the same page. Sort everything out so you don't have any extra expectations or encounter any difficulties. Personally, as me, I couldn't, I don't and I won't. Either you're mine, or you're not. I won't compete for anybody.
I feel like if you're his girlfriend and he asked her to be that than he shouldn't want to date around unless they agreed to be in an open relationship which would give her the right to do the same. but why be with someone if they aren't only down for you? im a jealous lover so I would never allow that, then again that's just me
I agree with everyone here. Dating should be exclusive in my honest opinion. If it is an open relationship, it should be for both sides, not one. What the dude is asking for is pretty selfish. This idea is like try before you buy with no strings attached. If I don't like it, I can break it and return for full refund. In my honest opinion, tell the dude to F*** Off. If she ended up with him, she will get walked on like a mat. It will be a painful experience for her now, but if she cut it off now, it will save her many pain. Everyone should deserve to be treated with outmost respect and with love. I can't understand people would even consider that...pretty selfish on his part. I can't stand seeing this.
I think tell him to get f'ed....Date her and her alone if you like her...if you wanna sleep around...don't try and call her your gf
Guys, all these responses are AMAZING. Thank you so much!!! My friend is really grateful to everyone who's posted responses and advice, and she'd like to thank each and every one of you :) @jordanhamilton @ButterflyBlu @Arellano1052 @paulisaghost @Luci546 @InPlainSight @DeepakAswal @BeannachtOraibh @ChriSingularis @marshalledgar @LizArnone @MissB82 @JuliaBrun @AkashBhojraj @lanejlzero Thank you!!!
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