2 years ago
shannonl5
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10 Sad Captain America Headcanons

Because there's nothing like getting hit right in the feels on a Friday night, amirite?

Beware: there are spoilers for the Marvel cinematic universe ahead. I promise I'll post some happier headcanons later this weekend. But sometimes you just need to get the feels out.
1. Steve gets lost in Brooklyn sometimes- he keeps looking for places that aren't there anymore.
2. He went looking for all the Howling Commandos; he didn't find them of course. They've all been gone for years. He's still in touch with some of their grandkids.
3. Bucky could have gone home, after he was rescued. He chose to stay with Steve; and Steve only found out after Bucky died.
4. Whenever he was feeling down, there was nothing like his ma's chicken soup to make him feel a little better. A no matter how hard he tries, nothing tastes the same. The recipe is long-gone.
5. When he dreams, he's still small.
6. The man that went into the ice, the one that wanted a family- he was going to be a great artist before the war. He didn't want to kill anyone- still doesn't. He never liked bullies, and it's getting harder and harder to figure out who the bullies even are anymore. He misses being able to sit and draw, but his super-soldier metabolism barely lets him sit still anymore.
7. He's still trying to be a good man, but in his heart of hearts, he's afraid that all he's become is a good soldier.
8. Steve grew up on stories of the Old Country; a neighborhood of Irish immigrants missing home. He didn't understand it before.
9. Little things remind him. There's a brand of perfume that reminds him of the one Peggy used to wear. The flavor of whiskey is still the same as the one Bucky used to like. But more and more, he's forgetting things, and that hurts more than remembering.
10. When he was young, he'd used to dream of the future. It was hopeful more than anything else. He wanted it to be good. For people to stop getting sick like he used to, for there to be enough food, enough safe places to live. And he looks at New York now, his *home*, and he sees that people are still getting sick- only now we have the medicine to make them better. It's just more than people can afford. He sees how much food there is, and knows there are still people going hungry all over. And the future is hardly a safer place.
And he wonders if it would have been different if he'd been there to help shape it.
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