So couple months ago, I posted something about whether I should get back with my ex or not. Most people said give it time before we're both ready to talk, but the more time I let it go, the less feelings I have for him which is good but what stands out now is the pain from the relationship.
One of the reasons he wanted to end it was because I was getting a little careless, impulsive, and sometimes negative. He also thought that I wasn't putting him as a priority and I join my friends when they tease him. Those things only happened 3 weeks before the breakup.
Yes, I admit to those but how can someone be so sensitive when he's the one who's insensitive about other people's feelings.
Anyways, is it normal to feel all the pain and anger (that was not fully out when we were together) now that we broke up?
I seem to feel under the weather lately and I noticed how it was the week that he told me that he cheated on me with his best friend. I wasn't as hurt as I am now and I still chose to stay because it was couple of weeks before our anniversary. I chose not to join a sport so that I have more time to reciprocate the effort he is putting into the relationship but he thinks I'm not putting him first.
I think it's normal for someone to miss out on their loved ones events at least once because how are you supposed to take care of someone when you can't take care of yourself. I'm also noting that I have anxiety. Towards the end of the school year is the most stressful time because of the efforts that are put into finishing strong that year. I tend to shut down when I have time to relax. Shut down as me going off on my own and just finding sanity in my friend's house (ogs are therapeutic af). He takes it the wrong way and makes me feel more like crap about it. He also points out the things that others can do that I couldn't do. At first it was a joke but overtime, it just doesn't seem funny anymore. It turns into insecurity.
All the things he did to me should've hurt me that time but I'm affected now that everything is done. Sorry for rambling on. What should I do?