a year ago
kimcheese2513
in English · 2,705 Views
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Pain from Past Relationships
So couple months ago, I posted something about whether I should get back with my ex or not. Most people said give it time before we're both ready to talk, but the more time I let it go, the less feelings I have for him which is good but what stands out now is the pain from the relationship. One of the reasons he wanted to end it was because I was getting a little careless, impulsive, and sometimes negative. He also thought that I wasn't putting him as a priority and I join my friends when they tease him. Those things only happened 3 weeks before the breakup. Yes, I admit to those but how can someone be so sensitive when he's the one who's insensitive about other people's feelings. Anyways, is it normal to feel all the pain and anger (that was not fully out when we were together) now that we broke up? I seem to feel under the weather lately and I noticed how it was the week that he told me that he cheated on me with his best friend. I wasn't as hurt as I am now and I still chose to stay because it was couple of weeks before our anniversary. I chose not to join a sport so that I have more time to reciprocate the effort he is putting into the relationship but he thinks I'm not putting him first. I think it's normal for someone to miss out on their loved ones events at least once because how are you supposed to take care of someone when you can't take care of yourself. I'm also noting that I have anxiety. Towards the end of the school year is the most stressful time because of the efforts that are put into finishing strong that year. I tend to shut down when I have time to relax. Shut down as me going off on my own and just finding sanity in my friend's house (ogs are therapeutic af). He takes it the wrong way and makes me feel more like crap about it. He also points out the things that others can do that I couldn't do. At first it was a joke but overtime, it just doesn't seem funny anymore. It turns into insecurity. All the things he did to me should've hurt me that time but I'm affected now that everything is done. Sorry for rambling on. What should I do?
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5 comments
I TOTALLY get this feeling @kimcheese2513. I think it's actually a really normal phenomenon – when you choose to brush things under the rug and not deal with the pain and anger and sadness in the moment (which is a coping mechanism we all turn to at some time or another), eventually it's bound to work its way out. What you're feeling now is the delayed response to being cheated on, to being emotionally manipulated, to having spent so much time with someone you now have such negative feelings toward. And that's normal. I mean, this guy sounds like a real jerk... you should be allowed – encouraged, even – to have time to be alone with yourself or with friends. Especially if you're feeling stressed. A good partner would understand that, and want you to do what makes you feel better. I'm glad that your feelings for him are diminishing, because he sounds like the type of mean, jealous person you do not need in your life. Take some time to be alone with your feelings, really feel them, and then get back up and keep going. If you need to cry, watch a bunch of TV, go for a cathartic run, eat some chocolate... do it. And then when you've worked through the pain and anger (little by little – it doesn't go away in a day), pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and remember that you are awesome, you are special, you are loveable, and you'll find somebody amazing someday who lifts you up instead of tearing you down. Best of luck sweetie <3
@allischaaff honestly he can be the worst person in the world but I guess after months what I liked/loved about him turned into something that I started to dislike
Ups and downs are part of relationships. You can mourn for it for a season but remember that the new season always brings new stuff. Look at it this way. He did cheat and he lost credibility not you. Don't let that eat you up. Go out. Live your life again. Don't spend another ounce of energy on it.
I agree with @grapetoes2000 :) and if you ever wanna talk, I'm always here <3 shoot me a message anytime