Hello, single people of Vingle. I've noticed you, hanging out in Love & Relationships, dabbling in Food, learning how to make @allischaaff's chocolate and peanut butter something so that you can fill your lonely piehole on a slow, sad Saturday night. I can tell that you're hurting. The dating world has been unkind to you - unfair even, but perhaps you've failed to notice that, this entire time, your special someone has been right there under your nose.
Six feet under, actually. With their arm sticking out.
Yes, before you swear off dating forever, I beg you to consider dating a zombie.
Maybe that vampire boyfriend sucked (literally), and your mummy ex-girlfriend was wound a little too tight, but zombies are as easy-going as they come.
They're extremely supportive and always only a few short steps behind you. Plus, when you're with a zombie, you're guaranteed to be with someone who loves you for your brain.
You can trust that your #ZOMBAE is an excellent listener. In fact, once they've lent you their ear, it might be hard for either of you to get it back on!
Afraid of committing too soon? Taking it slow is the zombie way. Plus, through their eyes (albeit glossy and moderately decomposed), every dance is a slow dance.
They can also be extremely sensitive. I mean, they DID have a heart once - even if it's currently dislodged and sitting somewhere between their pelvic bone and rotting underbelly.
So try it. Just once, okay?
Who knows? If things go well, maybe you'll even take the plunge and let them make you a zombie too!