2 years ago
quietone
in English · 1,874 Views
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Pondering
What happens when the very thing you create with turns on you? The one object you enjoy and thought would never hurt you.My pen turned on me tonight and it was one thing I didnt think would turn. One moment I was reading over something the next I had ink sliding down my throat.It got me to thinking what does happen when every last person turns on you? How would you cope with that? Find new people who could turn on you? Stick by yourself so you wont get hurt anymore? Is that even worth it to keep going on? But! What if nothing has really turned on you? What if its all in your head? What if your alienating yourself without even realizing it? How would you fix it? Could you? I think in most cases being turned on is just in your mind. No ones really out to get you no one gives a big enough shit to.Try telling that to your mind though, it wont listen. You know its true but that wont take it away.Hell it barely subdues it, then imagine living every day like that. Like everyone around you is bad and is only going to hurt you. Eventually you just throw your arms up and fuck it! A wall goes up so you wont have to deal with any of that. Once in awhile someone will hop the wall and you push them away. That way you can save yourself from whatever might happen. Lets face it no one wants anyone they grow to care about turn on them. Even if its just in your mind and realizing it or not you will try to protect yourself. Sometimes you cant and you let someone in praying that they wont turn on you. Where does all this come from? Anywhere....
Signed
A mind riddled with BPD
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no its not always all in your head but with some cases (mine) it can be. I was in an abusive relationship myself and it was all mental. when it ends I had no idea what to do. it creates a lot of fucked up things in your head. yea and what's sad is I personally know people like her only they do it in a different way
@peahyr of course it starts with something random and simple like a pen and escalates into a complex web of failed interpersonal relationships