ScriptedSoldier
2 years ago10,000+ Views
6 Things People Pretend They Don't Do (But Totally Do)
Let's be honest, there are approximately 7.3 billion people on Earth, and a good amount of us are terrible people (I'm looking at you Ubisoft!). A lot of my lists are about acceptance. Acceptance of oneself, acceptance of the truth, now it's time for acceptance of the world around you. (Disclaimer: These have been polled from people around me, mostly Soldiers, and divided up to find an average probability of a person committing said acts; which range from gross, to embarrassing, to just plain heinous. Said probability has led me to believe it is quite improbable that someone can say they've never done any of these things honestly. They might not all apply to you, but chances are one will. Also don't judge, because as I said, chances are you've done more than one act on this list on many an occasion). Enjoy looking at those around you under a microscope.
1. Pick Their Nose
I'm not sure when it's decided that we as a society are to give up our job as miners, the general consensus seems to be between 3 - 6, but the fact remains that if you reach the age when you're open to ridicule by those around you and are still digging for some gold...well it's just not a reputation you want. Except more often than not, your average Joe never kicked the habit, he just started doing it behind closed doors. There was a study in 1995 where 1,000 people were selected, out of those people 91% were identified as nose-pickers. Granted, that was a long time ago, but do you really think the number changed that much?
2. Farting in Public
Ever been on a bus and catch a strange scent, one that overshadows the usual disgusting stench of the bus and replaces it with an equally disgusting stench? Chances are someone cut the proverbial cheese nearby (another possibility is the much less likely idea that they're cutting literal cheese). Farting in public is a lot like that one embarrassing show you watch, you do it in the comfort of your private quarters, don't you dare bring that to the outside world. People still do though, sometimes you just have to let it go, sometimes you're just kind of a douche, or maybe you're a 75 year old woman who believes holding it in at that exact time will cause bodily harm (they're totally right by the way. Diverticulitis will get you). Either way, farting in public is considered a disgusting act. Yet much like doing the Nae Nae, we can't seem to stop it.
3. Watching Juvenile Cartoons As An Adult
Question! At what age did you stop watching children's cartoons? 10? 15? 20? Never? If you're like me, your answer is the last one, what can I say? I'm a kid at heart. I remember when I was younger and Nickelodeon first started airing Avatar: The Last Airbender, my mom watched the entire series with me. There were no words, only a shared appreciation for a bald-headed kid uniting a world and scoring with an Eskimo. Point is, kid shows rule, never grow up.
4. You still use an Embarrassing Item
I have this stuffed bear given to me from my now-dead grandfather, no bigger than my hand, and its been with me as far back as I can remember. Its kind of ratty-looking at this point, but Tedward (Teddy for short) Bear is a part of my life. Every time I see it I remember my Grandfather well and it means a lot to me. Even now I still have it in my barracks room. I'm sure I'm not the only one with some sort of sentimental item that, without the story behind it, comes off as really juvenile. In fact I know I'm not (I polled people remember?).
5. Talk Badly About Others
"If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Damn that rabbit was ahead of its time! It's true, negativity has no place in this world and is truly keeping us from the "World Peace" that our world's beauty pageants seem so apt to desire. But it's also something that seems to just exude from us. Whether you're a natural born ass hole, or Mahatma Gandhi, everyone seems to have a bad day, and when they do the negativity exudes. One of our favorite past times as a collective is putting other people down. Whether they disagree with your opinion, you're envious of them, they're unkind to you, or you just don't like them, you'll find yourself bad-mouthing someone. I'm ashamed to say I do it too, it's something we all need to work on honestly. But recognizing it and accepting it is the first step.
6. Take Your Ex Back
You do it. Shut up. You totally do it. No. Don't argue with me. You do it. And if you haven't, you will. I remember when I was growing up, I had a policy: Always burn bridges. I never believed in making up with people. Whether you killed my half brother Soap Opera style, or you stole my favorite pencil in math class, my grudges were held closer than my teddy bear as I slept. When I broke up with an ex? Forget it. She was dead to me. People in school used to do that "On again, off again" bull crap and I would not have it in my life. But sooner or later things play out a lot like a movie and you find yourself with someone you care about. Then? It gets serious. Fuck. You're dropping L bombs, you're meeting parents, you're buying trojans (it's not true love if you're using Lifestyle). With serious relationships come serious issues, and if a break up happens, you might find yourself with unresolved emotions. One day you get that call (or make it yourself) where you find out you both feel like things shouldn't have ended the way they did. Next thing you know, bam! Back together. Damn it, now you're a hypocrite.
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*the teacher from the incredibles voice* Guilty GUILTY I tell you! . . yea.....I'm a terrible person with no shame lol
2 years ago·Reply
really true...except the last one...
2 years ago·Reply
naah I don't pick my nose.....much... farting in public yes I do it...often....(the grocery store is the best, and then hit a quick exit, so everyone thinks the old lady on the "Hoover round" did it).....and yes I do miss my ex...but rumor has it she is now a man...(so no I won't be taking her back).. not really I'm just "hating" trying to mask ...my broken heart....LMAO......
2 years ago·Reply
is that Britney spears @5 ?
2 years ago·Reply
lol nope...she is fatter with a beer gut, but i still miss her ugly azz..lmao
2 years ago·Reply
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