1. McKamey Manor in San Diego is the most terrifying haunted house. You can spend 4-7 hours being bound, gagged, force fed, locked away in small spaces. That sounds like (double, double, toil and) trouble to me.
Card by: @LizArnone
2. Obama praised the U.S. woman’s soccer team saying "This team taught all of America's children that 'playing like a girl' means you're a badass.” Yup, we already know that those girls kick grass. (Yes! I achieved my “goal” of making a soccer pun!)
Card by: @mchyang
3. The World Health Organization released information this week linking processed meats like bacon and sausage cause to cancer. Ugh, that’s the WURST kind of news.
4. Muslim students in Australian primary schools skipped the national anthem because they were in a religious period known as Muharram. It was against their beliefs to sing during this period of time. The principals decision to let them skip immediately went under fire from local press. Wallaby Damned...
Card by: @InPlainSight
5. Katy Perry joined Hilary Clinton on the campaign trail in Iowa on October 24th. They are pretty much BFFs. If Katy Perry was a kitty, she would be a DemoCat.
This card has been a weekly installment of my Punny News collection. Follow it for a week of the news, but in really bad puns.