Joshsmithokc
3 years ago1,000+ Views
What's the point to all of this? I mean really. Surely its not being the best you can be or living life to its fullest. When I was being the best I could be, I was hospitalized for a night with a concussion, a broken jaw and PTSD. I still have not fully recovered. Thanks yen and yang. When I was living life to its fullest, I went to jail on several occasions, because the masses said I was not being socially appropriate. It sure is not money! We're all old enough now, to realize now that the more money one possesses, the more bills one must pay, the more complicated life becomes, and the more one is expected to become an ever growing philanthropist. If you live in the moment, you miss the bigger picture, yet if you live for the life, you miss the little things. It's not living for happiness. In my experiences, the happier I became, the greater the disasters became that would knock me back down. The nicer I was towards people, the more I was used, and the more I acted like an asshole their backs would turn towards me. I tried to be sociable, and alienated myself. I tried to live as a hermit and was told something was wrong with me. My life has been filled with one oxymoron after another. I feel like every step I take, the universe will party with a countermeasure of its own. I am a walking contradiction. I always have been since my memories began. Confused, broken, torn, black. «Joshypoo»
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Ah I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I have these thoughts a lot. Questioning your existence is always a dangerous game. What I do to alleviate it is write the things down, like you did. Just getting the feelings out can free you from them.
this is truly a work of art. you are a gifted writer in the sense of how you can express yourself. it took me a long time to get over my fears of being judged for how I felt due to a difficult childhood, but this is really amazing. I strongly believe that life is exactly what you make of it. do nothing to impress others rather do it to impress yourself
I strongly belive that the purpose of my life is to Know as many things as possible. See as many places as possible Feel as many experiences as possible (that don't cause harm to you or others) basically Knowledge to me is life .for that reason I don't care about anyone else.i don't care about the little things, I have set a goal for myself to travel the world and anything that gets in my way is either a challenge or an obstacle. I dont belive in good or bad everyone has their reasons, and God is just another idea. even if I become a social outcast. I know I will live
I feel like I've given up too, but then sometimes life surprises me. I hope you guys find something that can help you :/ Life ishard, but we can help eachother!
thats deep. imay i ask how you got ptsd? i also have given up on happiness.
i was blindsided by a couple of gang initiates, walking to my car from a bar I was hanging out at one night
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