People are always asking me, "Why do you wear so much makeup?"
"Why do you buy all that makeup?"
"Do you really need 8 different shades of the same lipstick?"
"Is all that contouring necessary?"
Yes. Of course. And why not?
I give the same answers each time, "Because I like it and I fucking want to."
When people look at you, and see your face they often notice if something's different. Like, you've put in more effort, or your features are maximized. They make some kind of snap judgement, "Oh you don't need it!" or, "You're prettier without it!"
The whole beauty thing matters in our society, probably too much. So, when you're faced with the choice of feeling ugly all day, or putting on some paint to cover the cracks, you're going to do the later right? It's just logical.
The only thing that matters, is that it's my choice.
Makeup for me, is like war paint. It's a symbol of power, productivity and above all else, beauty.
Growing up I was never the one the guys fought over. Conventional beauty illuded me. I wasn't fawned over, or raised to be admired. I was just kind of...there. So I had to do extrordinary things to make myself known. I started performing on stages singing, acting, and playing guitar because it was the only place I felt at home. I had to make up for my appearance, and no matter how "true" that actually is, I felt it, and that's all that matters.
Those who are gifted with the drop dead gorgeous faces and bodies of models and celebrities, tend to take the easy road. There is no other reason, except that they get away with it.
Fuck, if I could get away with it, I would do the same thing.
After a long battle with self-image, which I'm still currently fighting, I decided to do something for myself. I discovered that my makeup and hair could transform me into the cool, confident rock and roll goddess I knew I could be, so I started piling it on.
I remember coming to school in 7th grade after discovering that some people were making fun of how I looked. I was wearing big, thick, black eyeliner a la Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day. I felt like the coolest person on the planet. I felt like I had the power to ignore thhose around me, and live my life independent of judgement. I didn't give a fuck.
From then on, I fell in love with makeup. Now, it is a hobby of mine. I have tons of products. I use contouring, baking and clown techniques to make myself into the person I want to be. There is nothing wrong with that.
People who criticize those of us who like to "beat our faces", as the drag queens say, are sorely misguided.
Makeup is power, strength, permission to be our true, authentic selves. And when the gods of nature let us down, and when we're left with nothing but self hatred for our vessels, despite all the accolades of our minds, we have to do something. We have to take action. We have to use the tools given to us by our gods at MAC, Revlon, Maybelline, Sephora, and become who we want to be.
Makeup has taught me to treat myself like a work of art, although cracked and corroded, breaking at the seems, I know that once the paint is on...I can do whatever the fuck I want.
So, in short, those of us who seek guidance from the art of hi-lighting and contouring, those of us who believe in the power of translucent powder and glitter, those of us who live and die by the shape of our eyeliner: we own our image now.
We are free to be who we want. nothing can stop us.
Despite your "natural" leanings or your "thoughts" on what "real" beauty is, we're going to keep doing what we do. Because life is about more than pleasing everyone else. Sometimes you have to do things for the simple reason that you want to. And nothing else.