exaholic [n]. - someone who has yet to get over their ex.
It's going on a year and you're still browsing his Instagram feed because even though he did you dirty, you still have love for him somewhere deep down. First things first, that's not healthy and why still show interest in someone who didn't treat you right? I'm not one to point the finger because trust me, I've been in your shoes before. It's all about realizing your worth and until you do so, you'll continue to secretly scope out his social media and harbor feelings for someone who has clearly moved on. Every time you go onto one of his pages you see a new chick, is that the kind of guy you want to have feelings for?
I mean, it was all good about a year ago -- one year. That's far too long to still be checking for old boy and if you find yourself doing so, I'm sorry but you may be suffering from exaholicism. Similar to alcoholism and sexism, this is when a person is addicted to something or someone -- in this case that someone would be your ex. In a new story via Sober Recovery, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love, says that having a connection to a relationship that's dead and gone can be "just as profound as an addiction to heroin or cocaine or alcohol." Don't deny it. The signs are written all over your face and the history on your cellphone. Still don't believe me? Keep scrolling and let the signs speak for themselves.
1. When you broke up, it felt like your whole life fell apart and you had nothing left.
"Granted, lots of people feel that way when a relationship ends, but Bobby says that when an exaholic's relationship ends, they feel they have "lost the center of their lives" and need to find support groups so they don't feel like they've suddenly lost everything they have, because they really haven't."
2. You've switched to a different addiction to avoid withdrawal symptoms.
"This could mean drinking more, using drugs, having casual sex, or even just trying to start up another relationship, all with the intent to maintain the levels of dopamine that you had in your system when you were happy with your ex. Basically, you can't be without that feeling and scramble to replace it."
3. You feel like you need to count how many days it's been since you've kept yourself from contacting your ex.
"Not that this is unhealthy at all, but people who aren't exaholics are more likely to just break up and move on. If you're an exaholic though, you'll probably feel the need to keep track of how long you've been "sober" or able to stay away from them, like an addict would."
If you believe that you're suffering from this condition:
[.] seek help
[.] move on
[.] love yourself
If those three things don't seem to help, take Bobby's advice and fill the void form your past relationship with a new, healthy relationship.