Okay... @allischaaff@ButterflyBlu and anybody else who happens upon this card. I need help. I'm so confused by this, and I've received so much different advice that my logical and emotional and personal mind can't decide on the best course of action. I think I'll just type as things come to mind, so I apologize for the messiness and the confusion it may cause.
My friend and I argue. A lot. About little things, mostly.. We've had only two huge arguments. I am a huge smart-ass. And I have no problem arguing, and arguing back. I enjoy when somebody tries to argue with me, and I make them so mad, that they start yelling or just give up. I'm a horrible person to argue with, because I don't really care if my opponent finds what I say hurtful or not. Because I see a huge difference between talking a problem out and arguing. Once you're arguing, I don't consider it problem solving. Arguing is forceful. She thinks I sometime agree with her to just agree with her. And she doesn't like it. But if I disagree with her, it causes an argument. Even if I truly agree with her, she thinks I'm just placating her. And that starts another fight. She'll say little things or make smart-ass remarks, when she knows I'll respond in kind. If you want to poke at my buttons, I'll push yours right back. And she can't handle that. And I find it pointless that we fight. We aren't together. We aren't a couple. We have no freaking reason to be at each other's throats all the time! Have I agreed with her to shut her up? Very few times. But just because I don't think we should even be arguing, and because I don't want to argue with her! So, if I argue, I'm in the wrong. If I don't argue, I'm in the wrong. After a fight is over, she'll bring up an aspect about it in a sarcastic manner, to poke at me, and if I just give her the death stare, or ignore it, or just respond with a non-committal, "Okay.", she gets mad and it starts a new fight. If I poke back at her, she gets mad and it starts a new fight. She calls me an ass and a smart-ass and the like, but we've never ever actually called each other worse, serious names. So, I don't know how to deal with this! She even told me that she doesn't want to date somebody who always agrees with her like I do, and when I brought up the fact that the reason why we fight all the time is because I DON'T always agree with her, she kind of stumbled and said,"Well, it's a mix. I don't know."
A close female friend said to try and defuse the situation instead of arguing back, another said to argue back, another thinks that I should tell her, "That hurt my feelings. Could you please not say things like that? If you disagree, let's discuss it so we can solve the problem?", another said that it's pointless for us to argue, so just ignore it or walk away, eventually she'll get the idea.
As Brandon, if I disagree, I'll say something. If you're a smart-ass to me, I'll be one right back. And I'm an excellent sarcastic, penetrating jerk. I have no problem annihilating people. I've taken 4 speech classes and three debate courses, and with my childhood/upbringing and personal perception skills, I can say some very impactful and precise things that hit hard. I don't really get mad, but I will admit, I've gotten mad back at her twice, and those were our two huge arguments. If anything, I get irritated, because I find our arguing to be pointless and irrational. But I care about her greatly. I just don't know how to handle this. Because I've never dealt with this. Ever. Even my parents didn't argue this much in the 20 years I've known them, and they argue consistsntly. Would you say it's a good thing or not? Nobody has been able to keep going back and forth, and desired to, with me. And more than anything else, our.... Colliding passions, make me feel overwhelmingly stronger for her. It's the weirdest thing. I don't know if my mind considers it as effort, and that's something I'm not used to.... I just don't know how to stop us from arguing so much. Because if we catch each other on a bad day, I can see one or both of us saying some violent things, rendering our friendship/relationship irreparable that can only come from us knowing each other for so long and knowing each other so well. And I don't want that.
So... I don't know if that made any sense, but I will answer any additional questions to the best of my ability. What do you think I should do? What is the best thing to do? Why is she acting like that? Haha Is us butting heads necessarily a bad thing? Or is it good? Help? Haha