Narcissists hate the ones who really and truly love them underneath all the charm and good looks. They hate us who seek real emotional intimacy and they punish us for trying to get close. When you truly love a narcissist and care for him even when he is bad, you become the target of his violence and rage which is often passive-aggressive but absolutely no less damaging. When you love him as he really is, he does not interpret that as love. He sees it as weakness. And he has to prove that to himself and to you also, so he manipulates and abuses you so badly until you become the weak pathetic creature that he already believed that you were. Then he justifies his abuse by telling himself that you didn't love him, you were just a desperate pitiful thing that didn't know how to be ok without him. He will never acknowledge that he is the one who made you that way. He destroys every heart he touches. And then he blames the victim.