a year ago
christianmordi
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Drunk Guy In Need Of BBQ Sauce Gets 9-Year-Old To Drive Him To Store
My brother used to say "when it comes to cooking a meal, sauce is boss."

I guess my brother doesn't stand along on that theory, as a drunk man from Kiffin, Ohio went to extreme lengths to acquire some barbecue sauce for his chicken.

Rather than risk a DUI, the drunken BBQ-driven man came up with a clever idea: Why don't I let my neighbor drive me to the store?

One problem with that though: his neighbor was 9 years old.

The Courier (a Northwestern Ohio publication) has the full story:

TIFFIN — He was already sauced, but he wanted some for his chicken.

Police say a drunken Tiffin man, Cory D. Mathias, 27, had his 9-year-old neighbor drive him to a carryout to buy barbecue sauce for a chicken dinner Saturday night.

Employees at the Pit Stop, 321 E. Perry St., objected to the underage chauffeur and wouldn’t let the child drive back home, Tiffin police said. So Mathias took the wheel, but police pulled him over.

Police said Mathias had been imbibing before he went on the barbecue sauce expedition: His blood alcohol content was .300, nearly four times the legal limit.

Mathias is facing seven charges, including two counts of child endangering, police said. He’s also charged with driving while intoxicated, refusing a breath test, driving under suspension, wrongful entrustment of a motor vehicle, and obstructing official business, police said.
Couple lessons learned from this:

1-Never underestimate the lengths a man will go for some top notch BBQ sauce.
2-Never cool to drive drunk. Even less cool to let your 9 year old neighbor handle the wheel for you when drunk.
3-Never underestimate the lengths a man will go for some top notch BBQ sauce.

"Sauce is Boss."

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