Have you ever heard of the concept of love languages?
They really helped simplify the crazy world of relationships for me, and helped me to understand why some relationships work, and others don't.
I knew I had to break up with my ex when I realized we just had drastically different love languages, and without changing our fundamental beings, we would never be able to make each other happy. Best decision I ever made.
Read a little more about the 5 different ways people give/receive love, and be enlightened!
The 5 Love Languages
1. Words of Affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation. You express verbally to people how much they mean to you.
2. Acts of Service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love. You express your love by doing things for others.
3. Giving/Receiving Gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection. You like to shower your loved ones with gifts, both big and small, to show them how much you care.
4. Quality Time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention. Spending time with someone is your favorite way of showing you care about them.
5. Physical Touch: It can anything from holding hands to sex. With this love language, the speaker demonstrates and feels affection through physical touch.
The 5 Love Languages were introduced in a book of the same name by Gary Chapman. There's nothing all that scientific behind them; they're just based on his years of observing people and understanding how they work.
Maybe you can relate to all of the love languages above, but most people have one or two in particular that really speak to them. If you're not sure which you "speak," you can take this helpful quiz!
I took it to see what it was like, and this was my result:
Honestly, I think it's pretty spot on. The most important thing for me in a relationship is that my partner expresses verbally how much they appreciate me, that they find me attractive, that they love me, etc. That's what was wrong with the ex and me – he was the silent type, so I never felt loved by him.
I also definitely need to spend quality time with my loved ones, and connect through physical touch. But those things, along with gift giving, aren't as important to me as words. I mean, come on, I'm a writer! It makes sense. Haha.
How Your Love Language Affects Your Relationship
So of course, with these love languages in mind – how do they affect our romantic relationships?
I think the first and most important way is in how we communicate. It's vital for us to understand our partner's love language, not only in order to feel loved, but also in order to love them better.
Secondly, if you've ever struggled with feeling loved in your relationship, this might be why. Relationships are easier when you understand that people communicate love in different ways, and why you might long to hear "I love you," five times a day, maybe your partner is all about spending quality time.
Fortunately, it's possibly to learn to listen to other peoples' love signals, and feel the love even when it's not spoken in your "language."
For more reading on the love languages, you can check out this interesting LifeHacker article. I hope you guys found this card helpful!