Recently, Liam Neeson appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert in a sketch about the recent acquisition by Activision, Candy Crush. After talking about this news and doing the regular Colbert thing (you know what I'm talking about. The way he talks about news stories in a satirical/humorous way), he made the joke about a Candy Crush movie and revealed a "clip" which was the sketch.
While I watched this sketch, I was honestly wishing that this movie was real. Not because I think I would enjoy a strange and probably frightening journey through Candy Crush land. But because I really like the way the whole thing is a satire on the way people are playing this game and, by extension, mobile games in general.
There's even a moment during Neeson's last words where he talks about it all feels like a waste of time probably made me chuckle the hardest (I used the word chuckle here purposely because I wasn't really slapping my knee laughing this bit. It usually takes a lot for me to start laughing like that, like uh... hmmm... like a guinea pig in a construction helmet).
Throughout the sketch, I feel like they made a bunch of little jokes about things in Candy Crush and I felt a little out of the loop. Only because I don't play that game and I refuse to. And hey now, I'm not one of those "it's not a real game" butts (because it is most certainly a game), I'm more like I know I have an addictive personality and the moment I start playing that game or any of those mobile games, I'll be hooked.
It'll be terrible. My family will have an intervention for me. They'll take away my phone and cut off my hands so I can't tap away at the screen all day. "Paul" they'll scream, "look at what's happened to you. Look at what has made you a monster. There is blood on the ceiling and the floors. There was a sacrificial ritual in your room last night. You need to change. You need. to. change."