His cold eyes stared at me, holding so much pain and hatred. I knew I couldn’t hide it from him forever, but I just wish I could have hidden it for a little while longer. Reaching out to him, I tried to calm him down only to be pushed away even further. He didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. He wanted me to leave and never come back. His usual loving smile and happy eyes were replaced with a betrayed grimace and tears that he fought against. I should have thought about him, should have considered his feelings.
“How many times?” He asked, his voice strained.
“How many times?!” He yelled, getting angrier as I danced around the question.
“Every week for the past 3 months.” I mumbled, looking down at my hands. I felt horrible as I stared at the sparkling ring that promised our eternal love.
“3 months?! It’s been going on that long?!” He yelled, tears escaping his eyes. “How could you do this to me?!”
“I’m sorry…” I whispered. I wanted to cry because I hurt him so much, because I still loved him.
“We haven’t even been married for a year and you’re already cheating on me?!” His voice cracked.
“I still love you.” I insisted, looking up at his eyes.
“No you don’t. Because if you did then this,” He raised his hand and showed me his wedding band then pointed to my matching one. “Would have stopped you. Would have reminded you, hey maybe I shouldn’t cheat on my husband. On the man who would give up his entire career to make his wife happy!” He walked over to the window running his hands through his hair. “What did I do wrong?” He whispered brokenly. “What did I do that drove you to his arms?” His voice got quieter as he lost his anger and turned to sadness.
“Nothing, Youngjae. You’re the perfect husband.” I reassured him, walking up behind him and rubbing his shoulders. He flinched away from my touch and looked at me.
“I can’t take it anymore. Save me from your lies. Leave me. Get away.” He said, walking away from me. He avoided looking at the bed, where the blankets were all tangled and thrown all over the place. I felt tears finally fill my eyes as my worst fear was coming to the surface.
“Don’t say my name. Just leave, come get your shit when I’m at work. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“But we’re still married, honey.” I said, stepping towards him.
“Then I’m divorcing you. This was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. Before I loved you, I believed in love.” I stepped closer to him and he raised his hand, stopping me in my tracks. “Now stop, get away from me.”
“Are you planning to just erase me like that?” I asked him, feeling hurt.
“I can’t erase you. I think I’ll go crazy, but this love is a trauma in me. I won’t forget you, liar.” He said, walking out of the house.
Sobs escaped my mouth as my heart shattered. Yes I knew how wrong it was to cheat on him, but I couldn’t handle it anymore. He was always gone and working, especially more now that they had their comeback. It started off with him calling me when he had time, but that turned into texts, which turned into nothing. He wouldn’t answer me while he was at work and when he was home, he would sleep or play on his phone. I never saw my husband anymore, and it hurt. Then my ex from several years ago showed up and he showed me so much love. He would hold me once Youngjae went to work. He would give me everything Youngjae wouldn’t. He would satisfy my needs. But it was only a matter of time until Youngjae found out. And when he did, of course he was heartbroken.
The next time I saw Youngjae, he had the divorce papers in hand. His wedding band was long gone and he requested that I give him the engagement ring back as it was his grandmother’s. I handed it to him and wished him all the best, but he just walked away. He didn’t want anything to do with me. He didn’t want to see me again. And he looked like he went through hell and back. I could tell he wasn’t taking care of himself like he should. Luckily, we didn’t go public with the marriage so he wouldn’t go through a scandal because of me. And with those documents that I signed, I was erased from his life, but not his mind. Especially not when I ended up on the news as my body was pulled from the river with I’m Sorry carved into my skin.
Sorry about the dramatic ending haha…