I just want to sit alone by myself in a room in silence.
No yelling. No arguing. Nothing.
Sometimes, I just want to break or rip something up in anger.
Other times, I just want to just sit there and cry or think to myself about what the hell is wrong with my life.
Most of the time....when I want to be alone in silence, it never happens.
It's because of my mother constantly yelling, my sister annoying me, my grandma yelling at me for doing what I'm suppose to do, my father wanting to take my phone, my 'friends' constantly annoying me or talking too much, and my relatives pressuring me into too much stuff.
That's when I reach my breaking point - I shut down and refuse to talk to anybody.
I try my hardest not to even cry in front of anybody or show that I'm upset because I've been broken by this fucked up society.
I would wait until I get home, grab my pillow and go into my quiet place.
I would then lie down on the bed and start crying, my throat hurting because it burns, my body trembling and shaking.
After I stop crying, I wipe my tear-stained face and think of only one thing as I sit once again in silence.
"What did I even do to deserve this?"