I decided to participate in the Thanksgiving Day Challenge I've seen going around. I'm on the West Coast and it is 11pm, so I have one hour left to publish this card. And Go!
WARNING: This is a rather long post and is BIGBANG heavy. Don't say I didn't warn you.
1. WHAT KPOP GROUP ARE YOU MOST GRATEFUL FOR AND WHY?
Without a doubt. If it weren't for this fab five, I wouldn't have discovered the incredible universe that Kpop orbits. They are my gateway drug into the Kpoptastic world of Korean music, TV, movies, culture, language, people and beautiful sights.
I am incredibly grateful for them and to them. They've helped me regain my focus. I'm a singer and actress and in the past couple of years I somehow got derailed on the path to my dreams. You know how life just happens sometimes? Well, it happened alright. And BIGBANG, they opened my eyes and made me realized how "stuck" I had become. Because of them, I found the motivation and inspiration to get unstuck and I found my way back to the path of my dreams. I really am truly grateful to them for this. I hope one day I'll get the chance to thank them.
2. WHAT MUSIC VIDEO ARE YOU MOST GRATEFUL FOR AND WHY?
This is a hard one. There are many videos that I love. I decided upon two.
1. "Come Back Home" by 2ne1
This song gives me the feels but the video makes wanna smash things. The girls are gorgeous as usual, but vulnerable and pretty badass. I watch this when I need the feels, but want to feel the feels like a boss. Make sense? No, okay. Moving on.
2. "Fantastic Baby" by BIGBANG
This video is simply fantastic, baby. I blast this song when I need a pick me up or just need to sing loudly and have a great time. It's the one song I have to hear on my way to work. Also, GD's seaweed hair.
3. HOW HAS KPOP HELPED ME THIS YEAR?
In addition to what I wrote about BIGBANG in my answer to question #1, Kpop has helped me find myself.
Have you ever dated someone or had a friend who sort of became your identity? You discovered the things they liked and those things became the things you liked. Perhaps their friends became your friends as well.
I got dumped on Christmas Eve last year... By text message... While I was at work... My boyfriend of two years was too much of a coward to do it to my face. When I got home that night, all his stuff was moved out of the apartment we shared. I was devastated. MERRY CHRISTMAS to me!
That was the first and only time I've had my heart broken by something of the human variety. Naturally, it took some time for me to heal and move on. In the process of going from a "we" to just me, I realized his likes had become my likes, his friends were my friends, his family was my family. These are not bad things. But it got me thinking, "who am I?"
At the time, I honestly could not have told you. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized it went back way before that relationship. Looking back through my school years, I realized it had been a long time since I had truly been myself. But, I recognized the girl I was in high school. Obsessed with the Backstreet Boys, fearless, ambitious, stubborn, determined, carefree, fierce, brave, passionate. I knew who I was, what I wanted and how I was going to get it.
I saw glimpses of my high school self in the adult looking back at me in the mirror. I knew she was still in there. But I'm not a girl anymore. I needed to figure out what the adult version of that teenager was like. And so began the year of self-rediscovery.
And that's when Kpop entered my life. I really do have to credit the Try Guys, Eugene in particular, for turning me on to Kpop.
In September, I suffered an injury at work. A 50 lbs metal table fell on my head, pinning me between the table and a large cooler. I ended up with a bad concussion, neck, back and shoulder injuries as well as a jaw contusion. I couldn't work for almost two months. I also suffer from bipolar depression and SAD. I have meds that work well to keep the depression at bay. But fall and winter are harder given the seasonal aspect of my illness (SAD). All of these things combined made for a rough autumn. I can honestly say I made it through because of Kpop and BIGBANG in particular. Not only did I survive, I thrived. I had bad days, of course. But I had more good days than not. Many more.
I even got to see BIGBANG in concert when they came to town in October. I almost didn't go because the responsible, adult side of me fretted about the money. But in the end I made myself go. I knew I would regret it if I didn't. I never do that... At least the old me didn't. The old me never did anything for herself, worrying about money and making the best attempt at the whole adulting thing. I DO NOT REGRET GOING AT ALL! BEST CONCERT I HAVE EVER BEEN TOO, SERIOUSLY!!!
Would you like to know how I know Kpop is MY thing, MY like, MY personality? I'm the only person I know who likes it. And boy, do I love it! I've re-discovered my own style. I've re-discovered my passions and dreams and I've set a course for conquering them. I'm happier, healthier. There is a pep in my step that wasn't there before.
4. WHAT IDOL INSPIRES YOU AND WHY?
As incredibly hard as it is to take GD's looks out of the equation, I'm going to. Because he's so much more than what we see on the surface.
He's unbelievably talented. As a vocalist, rapper, dancer, producer, engineer, fashion icon and trendsetter, business man, etc... The list goes on. Is there anything he can't do?
He knew from a very young age what he wanted and he went after it. He worked hard, trained hard and dealt with the blows he was thrown. Because of his dedication, drive and insane focus, he's achieved more than most of us dare to dream. He made his dreams his reality. And he's remained humble, dedicated to his fans, loyal to his members and valuable to his company. He carries himself with grace and isn't afraid to try something new. He isn't afraid to fail. He knows failure doesn't mean it's over. It means figuring out how to pick yourself back up and move forward.
Because of him I've locked on to my goals with laser focus and I'm pushing full steam ahead.
That was really long. It's now well past midnight. My apologies. I did not intend to be so long-winded. If you've made it this far, congratulations (I guess?). You now know more about me then you probably wanted. You deserve a cookie. Thank you for reading.
I feel truly blessed to have you all in my world. I'm blessed that this fandom exists and there are so many of you who understand what Kpop does for me.
Again, thank you for reading. I hope you had a wonderful Turkey Day and I hope you all have many reasons to be grateful.