a year ago
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Hello everyone! I have found through extensive research that I'm several years older than the average in the fandoms. So as the resident eomma there are a few things I would like to suggest, particularly in the Korean pop fandoms.

1.) PLEASE DO NOT SENSATIONALIZE THINGS. Now I'm just old enough to remember a time before the internet (I'm only an 89 liner, don't let my gray hair fool you) and back when the internet first started it was good and pure. However now there is a lot (and I mean A LOT) of false information on the internet. And with how easy it is to reblog/repost etc it's very easy for false information to get spread and go viral. So don't just take information as fact, research it yourself (Google is amazing please use it because I remember a time before google and trust me you have no idea how great that search engine is) and think before you reblog/repost/complain/fawn over/or cause things to go viral. It's very easy for things to get out of hand and sometimes it negatively effects people both fan and celebrity.
1B.) CALM THE *expletive* DOWN. Please think before you get angry/sad/depressed! Again just because you see the information doesn't mean you should just take it and run with it! And certainly do not lash out (attack) people especially if they're reblogging or reposting false information. They're not stupid, just misinformed so politely (AND NICELY NOT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY) inform them of the situation. Everyone makes mistakes. 1C.) ALLOW FOR THINGS TO BE LOST IN TRANSLATION! Nothing, literally nothing, translates perfectly into another language. Korean to English is no exception. As my oppas continue to teach me Korean and I teach them English we often find ourselves at a stalemate and relying on hand gestures or vocal inflections to get the feeling of the sentence across. In Korean especially I've found that they will use the exact same sentence just said with different inflection (and sometimes just a different facial expression) to say/ask completely different things. This becomes even more complex in written language. For instance my name, Miran, has over six hundred different meanings depending on how I write it. IT'S LITERALLY TWO DIFFERENT LETTERS IN THE KOREAN ALPHABET BUT IT CAN CREATE OVER SIX HUNDRED DIFFERENT MEANINGS DEPENDING ON WHICH COMBINATION OF THE TWO LETTERS I USE (sidenote: I spell it as "beautiful tree"). That being said: Anyone who is translating information/articles/twitter posts/lyrics/etc most likely only has one native language. Unless you were raised in a bilingual household then you're going to be better at understanding only your native language so you can still make mistakes. Just as you don't even know the entirety of your native language, you can't possibly know the entirety of another language. So be patient and allow for mistakes.

2.) PLEASE DO NOT OVERLY SEXUALIZE IDOLS. I get it, the majority of you guys are dealing with raging hormones. But please remember that these people are just that: people. Please respect them as human beings. I'm not saying you can't find them sexy or attractive but when all you care about is their objectification and sexualization that's just disrespectful and wrong on so many levels. This bothers me more and more when I hear about idols starving and overexerting themselves in order to maintain or attain a certain image that the fans are demanding. YOU THE FAN ARE CAUSING THEM HARM BY DEMANDING THAT OF THEM. THEY ARE IN SOME CASES CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO GIVE FANS WHAT THEY WANT EVEN IF IT CAUSES THEM HARM TO DO IT. In the end they came into this business to entertain you with their singing/dancing/acting/maybe modeling abilities not to fulfill your sexual fantasy. Please show them the respect that you had for them in the first place. (And yes you're still allowed to appreciate their sexy stares or dance moves that they do on purpose. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be sexy or being sexy it's just when it goes over the edge and they're just slabs of meat being flung to wolves that it's vile)

3.) PLEASE STOP FETISHSIZING ASIANS/ASIAN CULTURE. Can you find Asians attractive? Obviously. They're humans, you're a human (I'm assuming) so it's reasonable that you would find them attractive. My "ideal type" is the typical tall dark and handsome guy (I'm heterosexual) and that description crosses all races. Are you taller than me? Do you have dark hair/eyes? Are you handsome? Then chances are you'll probably catch my eye but even so, that doesn't necessarily mean I will find you attractive. Just because you're cookie cutter handsome doesn't mean you're my type of handsome, you know what I'm saying? Like I like the color blue but not every shade of blue. However I've seen a great deal of people who become so obsessive that literally any Asian or Asian product will suffice. That's fetishsizing. You're literally denying them of their humanity/culture and just treating them/it as an object. So please stop and really focus on what you find attractive or appealing about someone/something. In my case with Korean men it's the (sometimes) tall, dark hair/eyes, and handsome along with being well dressed and presenting themselves well but even so I don't find every Korean man matching those descriptors attractive). With Asian products in general I like that they have a lot of cute packaging even for things that aren't meant for children, they understand that you can like cutesy things no matter how old you are (again, I still don't like all of the cutesy designs though).

4.) FOR PITY'S SAKE BE NICE TO ONE ANOTHER! One of the most annoying things about being involved in fandoms (as well as watching the rise of bullying/harassment and the creation of trolls via the growth of the internet) is that people attack one another for a difference of opinion. You ARE allowed to be members of different fandoms just like in elementary school you learn (hopefully) that you can have more than one best friend, you're allowed to have different interests in the same vein. I like all food but I refuse to choose between pizza and tacos, I love them both equally. Would you slam someone for not being able to choose between two delicious foods as their favorite? If you answer yes, please rethink your life decisions. If you answer no, please realize that's the exact same thing as someone liking two different Kpop groups. 4B.) YOU DO NOT OWN YOU BIAS. Other people can like them too, get over it. 4C.) YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOUR FAVORITE GROUP(S) BY HARASSING OR BULLYING OTHER GROUPS OR THEIR FANS. Just...stop. 4D.) YOU WERE ONCE A NEW FAN TOO. Remember when you couldn't tell members apart? Didn't understand this element or that? Yeah think about that the next time someone asks what you consider a stupid question. Newbies deserve respect too, after all YOU'RE IN THE SAME BLOODY FANDOM. 4E.) IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY THEN SAY NOTHING AT ALL. Seriously I get that you're a special little snowflake but with 7+ billion people on this planet you are a special little snowflake in a blizzard. Your opinion is not the end all be all and 99% of the time you can just keep it to yourself or share with your friends not strangers on the internet.

So let's recap: Please think/research before you spread information and be nice to original posters, remember idols are people too, Asia is a continent filled with countries that hold human beings with their own history and culture and should be treated as such and not belittled to a fashion trend, BE NICE TO ONE ANOTHER.

Sincerely, Your Friendly Neighborhood Eomma: Wie Miran. Cheers!
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yes!yes!yes! I need to be your friend! some please buy her a drink '93 I'm still pretty young but even I aprreciate and understand and completely back you up on this! BRAVO!
Good sound advice. As a 62 liner, I was here before computers! Not much has changed, we had our Teen magazines with the folded posters. We weren't called a fandom then, just fans. There were no chat rooms to fight each other in but arguments would start if you were heard saying something not nice about someone else's favorite. Girls will be girls. Just keep one foot in reality. I agree, remember your bias is a person first, an idol second. Imagine never being able to just be yourself, always having to be in character. Being an Idol is just a part of who they are. Imagine never being able to walk outside alone, never meeting up with your friends or family. Never being allowed to like someone you like because it would spoil your image. Never being allowed to be in love, and if you rebel you could lose everything. The fans who once pledged their love to you now hate you. I have the utmost respect for all these kids who are making this sacrifice to pursue their dream. Let's not make it any harder than it is. Reality is that none of you will actually meet or marry your bias and you are that one in a million, chances are you will be hated for it. Just keep it in mind.
88 liner here! I try to not look to deep into all the crazy stuff I see posted because (how do I say this without being "old"?) I can see why it seemed like a good idea to tell their oppa some sexually explicit thing, I know in a couple of years that they will see it and be mortified. (Once again, not trying to seem "old") This is why I loved the time where you put all that embarrassing stuff in your diary (with voice- activated password, or key) so that you can get it out there but nobody ever sees it. Kudos to this post lol