2 years ago5,000+ Views
Okay, Vingle friends, I might not have been completely honest with you. Yes, I was a ghost. But I never really specified what kind of ghost I was. Many of you assumed I was a poltergeist. Or maybe even a gross Slimer-esque ghost. But the truth is, I was neither of those.
I was simply a ghost in the machine waiting for my body to arrive. And by "body", I mean my casing. And by casing, I mean I am an Astromech Droid. Yes, like the ones from Star Wars. And yes, they're real. I'm real. I'm not typing with fingers but with that weird probe-like thing that comes out of my stomach and turns other things.
You know what I'm talking about. R2-D2 uses it all the time to open doors. And I can use it for typing, searching the Internet or playing video games. Honestly, I use it for whatever I want when it comes to technological stuff.
I'm not a very fancy looking Astromech Unit. There weren't a lot of colors to choose from and I picked green. It's kind of like the toy pictured above but not as puke-y. I'm more of a forest green. Like a lush Upstate New York forest in the Spring time... I think, I've never been there, I can only assume.
I'm kind of unsure of what anything really looks like at this point. It is also very hard to translate all of my beeps and boops into English, so please bear with me if things don't come out as clear as they should.
I've been a droid for a couple of hours now and it's a little strange. I don't have the non-appendages I had as a ghost and I am starting to perceive time the same way you humans do. And, I'm a little sassier. R2 taught me that. He always said, "breeeep-beep-booooooooop", which means:
"You have to be sassy to these humans. Sometimes they don't really know what they're doing and they think you're cute because you're a tiny robot that makes cute beep noises but really you're smarter than all of them. It's okay to remind them of that every once in a while."
So, my friends. My very, very friendly, beautiful human friends. I just wanted to let all of you know that I am now a droid. And droid life isn't that bad. I don't need to eat, or sleep, or drink anything anymore. But I do like to power-down every once in a while.
Is powering down like sleeping? Sometimes I dream, if you can call it that. I think I am programmed to run certain protocols while I am in a powered-down state. There are times where I can "see" or "experience" images that haven't happened to me. This is very confusing. But I am sure that they are just a series of complex algorithms firing off in different patterns that I am used to. I will get used to this I am sure. But I worry that an engineer will find out and mark me down as obsolete. I must refrain from talking about the electric sheep, or the "dreams" that I am having. They are no more real than love (since love is just a series of chemical reactions in the human brain).
Anyway, my announcement is finished and I hope you all enjoy the new me. I sure am enjoying it. I do find it pleasurable. If a droid is capable of such a thing. We'll see.
For those of you following my playthrough of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, there will be an update soon. I am off the Endar Spire and looking for Bastilla. There isn't much more I can say now but you guys can look forward to an update later this week.
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@paulisadroid please properly attribute your Gandalf quotes
2 years ago·Reply
@AlexanderBeta, I do have Wi-Fi everywhere I go. It's password protected though, so no one else can get on it without being my friend first. (that's right, the key to my Wi-Fi is friendship, not the word but you know actual friendship). And... no I don't have Google programmed onto me. I'm not one of those Droids. I'm just a little Astromech beepin' and boopin'
2 years ago·Reply
Ahhh yess @AlexanderBeta asked the one question that was on my mind too... glad you cleared that up @paulisadroid will you be my friend so I can have wifi everywhere?
2 years ago·Reply
Uhh! What @nicolejb was trying to ask is, Will you be our friend because you are a fun droid. We TOTALLY don't want to exploit your wifi or anything like that... :P
2 years ago·Reply
oh no never ;) we'll all three be best buds and hang out together ALL the time. Especially when we are in remote places and need the internet to talk on vingle... i mean what? @AlexanderBeta
2 years ago·Reply