I have always been a bit embarrassed when it comes to people hearing my music or knowing what I listen to. Even my family. I felt like they would think I was weird and I was almost ashamed so I never talked about it. They knew I listened to it but that was about it.
My nephews were the only ones who had ever heard it because I'd play it in the car when I'd be driving with them. The oldest really liked it and he listens to it a lot now. He loved GD right away, then BigBang, then Beast, and now BTS. This started a couple years ago though. So he's been the only person (besides my boyfriend) who I've been able to listen to music with and talk about the members.
Even my best friend knew I listened to it but she only ever heard one song and I didn't push it. Now I may not have her listen to music but just this last week was the first time I rambled about a group to her. She listened and said she's interested in whatever I love. BTS was the only group I've ever felt like rambling about and made me want to tell people about them without being embarrassed.
Including telling my sister.. She has always made fun of me for my asian music. She doesn't like that my nephew likes it and I tell him to just not play it out loud and use headphones. She thinks I'm weird. She's 90% of the reason I've been embarrassed of what I listen to. When I was 13 I listened to Japanese music which eventually passed but then I picked up K-pop later on. She's made fun of me since the beginning.
But once again BTS (and a small amount of alcohol in me) gave me the confidence to tell her about them. I even got her to agree to listen to and watch a few of their videos. I still have to do that but she agreed and listened to me go on talking for a while about them. She didn't call me weird. She laughed at what was funny, like J-Hope's judgey face, and I think she's gotten over it a little. Both for me and my nephew I think she's come to terms with how not weird it is. Especially when Snoop Dogg is willing to work with Psy; that really opened her eyes because she loves Hangover!
I just got their newest album and the moment I heard Ma City I had a huge smile on my face because it sounded so different! It had a funky guitar sound and I was just like whoa! That same day I was thinking maybe my dad would like it. Like I said, my parents have never heard any K-pop so this was a huge step. What's really funny is my dad hates rap, with a passion and this song was rap.
So here I am, sitting at the computer, bringing up youtube, finding the video; meanwhile, my hands are shaking and my heart is pounding. Not normal for something this insignificant but for me this was a huge deal. So I play it for him and he listens. About halfway through he asks me if I know what they are saying and I give him a rough idea. I told him they have a rap line and a vocal line and that this song was rap focused. At the end he says, "That was actually nice. No obnoxious rapping and I'd be willing to bet you could actually dance to that." My heart freaking glowed! I was so happy! I was happy my dad heard what I like and thought it was good. Even if I did cherry pick that one song because he wouldn't like much of their other stuff lol.
But the point of it wasn't to get him to like BTS; I just wanted to be accepted. I wanted him to know I'm not a freak, and I know he didn't ever think that, but I was done being so embarrassed over it. He's very open minded to music, besides rap because he's only ever heard my sister's American filth rap and doesn't want to hear it ever again, but I was still scared for years.
BTS gave me that courage and confidence; they gave me a song that I was proud to show my dad. I seriously owe them for that. I no longer need to worry about what people think because BTS has such a range of music that I have plenty to choose from to show people if I so choose or they ask. If any K-poppers are afraid or ashamed; don't be! We can't help what we like and those who judge us are petty and those close to you likely won't care. Let yourself be free to like what you like! SO THANK YOU BANGTAN BOYS! And thank you to the ARMY on vingle who threw BTS all over the place that I eventually had to look them up to know what it was all about and immediately became addicted! And thank you for reading my long ass post too haha! ^_^