3 years ago1,000+ Views
When I read your card @LaurenStrayhorn I felt so sad. It is so unfair that these types of things would happen to a nice girl like you. Forewarning: I tried my best to add relating gifs; however, uh, I'm not sure how well that went, but I hope some might make you smile! ^_^
I'm sorry that 'friend' wasn't such a friend. I've been there and it hurts like a mofo! When it happened to me I was somewhere between crying and wanting to deal some damage. It's cruel as hell, but they'll get hit by karma real hard someday, so don't use violence and don't bother to waste any time on them.
Don't hurt yourself dear, please. If it's that bad, please go see a doctor because I've been depressed like that too. I never cut but I had severe depression for years, and talking with a therapist and getting medicine did wonders. I had a really rough time in school too. I was in a new school in 7th grade with very little social skills because I went to school where my classroom had 5 kids in it for 3 years. That was the first year of high school, which meant it pretty much set the shitty tone for the rest of my 6 high school years. But surprisingly by junior and senior years I was all good. What changed for me was my outlook was different and I looked forward to what would come after graduation.
Kids are cruel as fuck and honestly I've never heard good things about the way a lot of kids in theatre treat each other. Apparently it wasn't just my school, so don't feel too alone. Sometimes you need to find a smaller club. I was in dance classes and got close with about 8 girls and we were nice to each other, even though the other girls knew each other longer they let me into their group, so don't be intimidated if you run into that. Just be yourself and if you're shy you can just slowly poke out of that shell. I have very bad social anxiety and getting used to new groups is hard but worthwhile.
You may not find many k-pop lovers in school but I can guarantee you with 99% accuracy, that there sure as hell are going to be some crazy anime loving kids! Does your school have an anime club? Mine didn't, but a close friend of mine started one on her own and made a few close friends that way! So try to find anime lovers because it's almost impossible not to find at least one and maybe even start a club! ^_^
High school ends, you graduate, and it's over. Then you can go to college and you can learn whatever you want and go to a diverse college and make a ton of friends. I grew up in the middle of nowhere in Northern Minnesota, the population was less than diverse and not so open minded. BUT I got through it with the few friends I had made. I spent my lunch hours for about 2 years in the library or computer lab doing graphic design and I was happy; even though most people would assume I was sad because I didn't have a ton of friends. It's all about how you make it.
One thing that's helped me over the years is having the 'I don't care about what other people think' attitude. Let Suga be your spirit animal I'm not saying run naked through the streets lol but don't be afraid to let people see that you like anime or k-pop, if you don't then you won't find friends with common interests. At times people may look at you funny, but shrug it off because it could make you some great friends!
So be strong and carry on! You seem like a wonderful girl and I have shared many of the same experiences in school and life. I can tell you that your outlook and how you choose to view things can give your world a 180 degree change for the better, if you let it.
There's something I like to relate to these types of things. Think about a lotus flower. It's beautiful right? One of the most beautiful flowers I know. You know where they grow? From mud. From ugly and icky mud. Something you wouldn't think anything could grow from, especially something so lovely. But it does anyway and it makes it even more beautiful. Be that lotus. Use these bad moments, your hard times as your mud and let yourself mature and grow through it all and come out of everything as a beautiful human being!
So let your heart love the things it loves and embrace that love. Embrace it and let it erase that hatred, that depression, those tears. Let it give you some damn peace! No one deserves to feel worthless, pardon my up coming language, so fuck that shit because you sure as hell are worth a lot! And fuck anyone who says different, they are petty, aren't worth your time, and aren't worth the sadness they are making you feel! Don't let yourself tell you any different either, because I'll give that voice inside you a stern talking to if necessary! You can make it, just believe in yourself and it will happen.
I hope this helped a little and good luck with all your endeavors in life! Vingle fam is here for you!
@MadAndrea is right. Everything she said is great advice. You are 100% worth a whole damn lot. No matter how much it feels like it at times, you are not alone! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! We are here for you. We absolutely care. You have a family here. A place here. You belong. That's right, YOU BELONG! And it gets better, so much better! So hang in there, reach out. Don't hide who you are. The world needs you! We are here for you, @LaurenStrayhorn. ❤️
@MadAndrea you are totally right. And college is such an improvement from school. You find people who are willing to accept you as you are and if they aren't...you don't have to stay around them. @LaurenStrayhorn keep fighting:)