It's a cloudy day in the Bay Area and I may have become a different person.
Little changes over large amounts of time aren't always obvious. Like leaves, turning in the fall air. They don't all of the sudden become a different color. They're changing all the time, every minute of every hour. And if you don't look up at the right time to acknowledge their beauty? It's too late, and they've fallen off the branch.
People are like that, you know?
They're constantly changing...moving from one microevolution to the next and if we're not paying attention, or caring about those people...we'll miss their greatest moments.
I'm standing in the driveway of my new place in California. The sun didn't show up today, no surprise. It seems that I bring rain with me wherever I go...which is good, considering CA is in the middle of a legendary drought.
I pace back and forth with two garbage bags in my hands. One for recycling and the other for garbage...you know the things that you can't make into something new.
A new car is sitting in the garage, and by some miracle of God, my name is on the title. Something I couldn't have imagined for myself six months ago, struggling to make ends meet working as a freelance reporter for a small town newspaper.
Evolution is easily understood in theory, and not so much in practice. It's those small changes that creep up on you. And one day, you wake up and things feel different.
You're not a different person, just a different evolutionary step. Crossing from one narrow adaptation into another. Maybe today you can ward off anxiety, and work in a calm and collected manor. Maybe your brain isn't as jumbled, and thoughts can align for a few, brief moments of clarity. Maybe today you can breathe.
These micro-evolutions, or little victories help us work toward our larger goals...our purpose.
My goal, as of late has been to live a bit steadier. Without all the jolts and jumbles of a life on the run, in a band or without steady work, I want to become calmer. Give a little more time to myself. I want to be able to decompress without feeling guilty. I want to work smarter and more efficiently, not harder and longer.
I want to be a real person. Someone with a car and a nice room with things that match. I want to be clutter-free, frugal. I want to start a savings account. I want to live like all those pretty, put-together girls on Youtube lifestyle channels. I want to be less angry and dissatisfied. I want to evolve.
The only way to do that: Embrace the little Victories.
It took me a ridiculously long time to even acknowledge all the small steps I had been taking, but once I did, I realized, I was right where I needed to be. If you spend all your time feeling down about yourself, taking time off only when you have to sleep, or eat, living minute to minute because thinking about life is too agonizing to go by hours...you need to get behind your little victories.
It's pretty much all about changing the way you think, which can take a lifetime. But with conscious effort, and a few tips, you'll be right there, ready to help yourself instead of hurt.
-Okay, first thing's first, you need to sit and breathe.
-Next, write down a few things you did for yourself today. It's not as simple as it seems. These things have to be only for you. Not for your parents, job, friends or family. No. You.
-Can't come up with any? That's your first problem.
Most of the time when we're not embracing our little victories, we view ourselves as failures, constantly towing our high expectations behind us like giant metal anchors.
That's not the point. Isn't life about the little things? Isn't that phrase embroidered on cute little decorative pillows you'd find at Urban Outfitters for an outrageous price? YES. It is. So, just fucking subscribe to that mentality.
When you get up in the morning, look at yourself and say, "Alright, I'm still alive, I've got a cool job. I'm making new friends and I got this." Or whatever applies to you, then just push those negative thoughts out of your head and MOVE. FORWARD.
Going straight gets you nowhere. Forward for you might not be forward for someone else. Don't let that get you down.
Embrace the little victories, and everything will be okay.
Microevolution isn't about gaining a higher consciousness, nor is it about becoming a new person. It's about becoming the best version of yourself. So keep moving toward that, no matter what it looks like.