With the best holidays right around the corner, it only makes sense for everyone to be in the mood for giving. Now sometimes, you want to give someone a foot in the ass, but I'm going to try and promote a more peaceful solution. Buy them a terrible game. What's that you say? What game could be so terrible it would be considered worthy to impart upon someone you hate or someone who needs to be taught a lesson? Well, here are a few...
1. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5
I cannot stress it enough how terrible this game is. This game just came out recently, and it's already infamous for its terrible gameplay. "A PS4 game that plays like a bad PS1 game." That's the best way to describe Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5. With grimy graphics, a tedious/repetitive set-up, and physics straight out of the mind of a possessed 4 year old; Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 makes me wish we had never strapped on our kneepads and wished for a sequel in the first place.
For: Your Friend Who Thinks They're An Athlete.
2. The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct
You guys know that successful comicbook series The Walking Dead? Well it did so good, they made it into a television series! And you know what? It's critically acclaimed. So they decided to make a game series, with TellTale at the wheel. And you know what? It was brilliant, one of the best games I've ever played. Then, for some reason, Terminal Reality decided to take a shit on everything The Walking Dead ever made. What's that? You've never heard of Terminal Reality? Why they've been behind such great hits like: Hellbender, Monster Truck Madness (Both 1 AND 2!), The Ghostbusters Video Games, Def Jam Rapstar, and (Wait for it...) Shake It Up: Dance It Up! Wow...with that library of content, it's no wonder they were liquidated.
For: Your Friend Who "Totally thinks the Dixon brothers are hawt!"
3. Mortal Kombat: Special Forces
Take everything you love about the Mortal Kombat series, and strip it all away. The fighting mechanics, the graphical presentation, the gore for god's sake! Now we have a dungeon-crawl style game starring Jax Briggs, complete with more firepower than North Korea. Oh snap, boss fight time, Scorpion is here. How should I deal with him? 1 on 1 Mortal Kombat? Fuck that. Bullets. Gun him down. This game holds a special place in my heart as the first game I ever played and decided "No. I DON'T want to keep playing this."
For: Your Friend That Thinks There Is No Bad Mortal Kombat Game.
4. Every Legend of Zelda CDI Games
Nintendo will forever rue the day they passed Sony up for Phillips. I bet if you go on a tour of their headquarters and bring it up they probably assassinate you on your way out of the building. Go ahead and Youtube "Nintendo CDI." Watch it for as long as you can (either a minute, or on loop, depending on what type of person you are), then come back and have a newfound respect for this post.
For: That One Who Never Shuts Up About Nintendo.
This game is infamous, INFAMOUS I say! This game is well known as being the agreed upon worst game ever made. the mechanics, the lack of guidance, the glitches, even the graphics were poor for their time. E.T. was part of the deluge of crappy games leading up to the fabled Video Game Crash of 1983 and is widely considered as the straw that broke the camel's back. Honestly, I wouldn't even wish this game upon my worst enemy...yes I would.
For: Your Worst Enemy (Seriously, fuck that guy).
Now there is NO WAY I got all the bad games out there, so if you guys have some games in mind you personally would bequeath upon your most hated person, sound off in the comments section. Oh, and Happy Holidays guys