AmdBolben
2 years ago100+ Views
Suicide
“You’re just a waste of space”. That night, she knew since the moment she had left her office there would be no turning back. She would kill herself. “You don’t deserve to live anymore”. She needed to work out how to do it first. Drowning herself, hanging herself or taking an overdose of medication were out of question. She didn't want to suffer at the end, even for a brief moment. She just wanted a quick and painless death. “You have already suffered enough”. She considered for a moment cutting her veins while having a bath. She would pass out before dying and she would certainly feel nothing when her heart would stop beating. But she always hated the sight of blood, and she feared she would panic at the sight of hers flowing from her cut wrists. “You're good at nothing”. Jumping from a high building crossed her mind too. But she dismissed the idea quickly. She had heard before of failed attempts where the guys had survived the fall and had spent the rest of their life paralysed. She couldn't take that risk. “Let the train do it!”. The train. She should have thought about it from the start. All it would take was to go to that forest, stand next to the train track, and let the steel monster do the job. Her body would be crushed instantaneously. She would feel nothing. In a fraction of a second, every single organ in her body would be shattered, and she would be sent quickly to oblivion. “Your pain will end very soon”. She stopped the car next to the forest entry. She took that path she used to walk in when she was a teenager, and she was already next to the train track... After ten minutes of waiting, she could hear the sound of the engine getting closer. “It will be here in one minute or so”. She took a look at her phone screen. 10.23 pm. “By 10.25, nothing would matter anymore”. She switched the device off and threw it behind her. Then she started breathing slowly. “No one will miss me”. Suddenly, tears were flowing down her cheeks. She felt like she was mourning herself. “Stop it, coward! Who cares anyway!”. Then she saw the light. The train driver should have seen her as well, because the whistle started blowing loudly. Her heartbeat quickened. She felt scared. “Do it bitch! Do it! Enough fear!” “Maybe I can sort things out” “No you can't! Enough! Jump! Jump useless piece of flesh!” She took a final look at the clear sky. The moon was very bright that night. She felt like it was laughing at her... The whistle sounded then too close and she knew it was the moment. The voice in her head was screaming now: "Jump bitch! Jump! Jump! Now!”. She closed her eyes and... she jumped. What happened in the second after was beyond her expectation. She was still closing her eyes tightly, waiting for the impact. The voice stopped shouting, and all her thoughts seemed to be frozen. The train however didn't hit her. Or at least, she didn't feel it hitting her. All she felt was a cold breeze on her face, and then a heavy silence fell around her... “This is wrong”. The voice started to talk again. “This is fucking wrong. This could not be death.” Something was wrong, of that she was totally certain. This was not the nothingness she was waiting for. She was still able to think, to hear that voice in her head, and most importantly, she was still able to feel. She could feel her feet, her breathing and the forest smell around her. She was scared though to open her eyes. She was afraid of what she would find in front of her. Finally she gathered up her courage and she started looking around her. “What the fuck is this?” she was still standing in the middle of the train track. The same forest was surrounding her like before. She checked her body and found she was still in one piece. “What happened? Where is the fucking train?” She felt totally confused. “Am I dead?” She put her hand in front of her face, and examined it carefully. It was the same hand she had known all her life. She bit her thumb and she could feel the pain. Suddenly, she remembered her phone. She ran to the direction where she had thrown it before, and found it under a tree trunk. She turned it on and composed a random number. After few seconds, she heard a man voice. “Hello?” “Hi there, can you hear me?” “Of course I can! Who is calling?” She hanged up. “Dead people cannot talk” She could not be dead. She considered for a second waiting for the next train and trying again. But she dismissed the idea. She wouldn't do it, at least not that night. Something strange had just happened to her on that track, and she wanted to understand it. She was totally certain she had jumped at the right moment, and she couldn't find any reason to how the train had disappeared and how she was still alive. At the end, she decided to go back home... Before taking the path that led to where she had parked her car, she took a final look around her. Again, everything seemed usual... The forest, the train track, the sky… But, she could feel something was different. Something didn't feel right though she couldn't work out what it is... Finally, she took the path and started walking. What she didn't realise before leaving was that one thing was really different. There was no moon in the sky anymore.
2 comments
That was a good one, please continue
2 years ago·Reply
Thank you!
2 years ago·Reply
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