jordanhamilton
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Single In The City: Realizing First Impressions Are Deceitful

Maybe it's just me.

I'm beginning to realize that everything that looks good to you, isn't good for you. Take Adam and Eve for example. The apple looked delicious, but Eve knew it was poisonous. What does she do? Eat it anyway and she even went as far as to share it with her husband. I feel like dating and relationships can be the same way.
We often go for what looks good from a distance, but once you get closer and actually start to get to know a person you begin to realize that they're not for you. It shouldn't take the tests of time for me to realize that I am going about this whole 'dating' thing in the wrong manner. If it's not one thing it's another.
I've come to realize that I enjoy the idea of being with someone, but at the end of the day if that someone doesn't measure up to what I feel is the ideal man than it's time for him to hit the road. You can have an amazing education, a car and your own place, but if you don't treat me with the utmost amount of respect than it's just not going to work.
I'm fast learner when it comes to certain things, but dating just doesn't seem to be one of them. I know I didn't move a couple states away to find love and I believe that when the time is right that it will happen, but when you're living in a huge city and all you see is couples upon couples -- what else do you expect?
People tell me to get out more, I do and while doing so I'm left walking the streets with tunes of Stevie Wonder playing in the back of my head.
My phone vibrates, it's him.
That guy with the amazing education and occupation, good looks and a bright life ahead of him, but he lacks compassion, respect and so much more.
Delete.
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The best advice I've gotten in awhile! Thank you so much for your insight and positivity. I'm learning. I like to refer to myself as a diamond in the rough. I will definitely take your advice from here on out & as you say, "enjoy it" :) @InPlainSight
@jordanhamilton It's often easy to learn new things that don't involve you're emotions. It's often easy to see the mistakes others make in their relationships, because you're not invested in them. When it comes to us and our relationships, the best you can hope for is to follow your instincts, it doesn't really get easier with age or experience, at least it didn't for me. It can be a rocky road with many bumps, or it can be smooth and easy but you never really know what is lurking around the next corner. If you're happy and it feels good - enjoy it.
YOU GO GIRL. Sounds like you're making the right decision. There's nothing wrong with figuring it out as you go. :)
@jordanhamilton i had the same problem. unfortunately, i dont fall for the right kind of guys either. but one time, i actually fell for the wrong guy with all the right reasons and it was not for a feeling or something ideal that i thought he was. he was none of the things that i would put on my list other than handsome. but other than that, i knew he wasnt the best guy but something just tugged at my heart from deep within him and i cared so much. he turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. but he was also the source of the greatest love i have ever known. i wouldnt have ever made a list that includes the silent treatment, deception, manipulation and severe emotional abuse. but yet still, i truly cared for him. there is not another man that i ever could have loved that much. and i still believe that no matter how ideal or good a man may be, he cant replace that love.
if you learn from your mistakes, then congratulations you are on the right way
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