Oh, you're wondering where that nice boy I brought to Thanksgiving went? You know, I've been wondering that too. But hey, isn't this chicken great? At least his general illiteracy, presumably bird-sized brain, and lack of fingers make it physically impossible for him to return my texts. What's your excuse, Jason? Huh? HUH?!
(In other news, I feel like @AlloBaber and I would totally drink with this girl.)