3 years ago1,000+ Views
Alright, alright, alright. I guess little Darth Fred Vader took my threat pretty seriously after I saw his miniature Death Star with a real laser and decided to add another weapon to his arsenal against the Rebellion. Maybe he was right in calling my bluff. I'm not really a tiny little Luke Skywalker, I'm a droid.
But that doesn't mean I can't fly a goddamn X-Wing, Fred. You think this scares me? You think this old little ratchety piece of metal, this old dog of a machine is a match for me and my Rebel Squadron? If you do, you're wrong, Fred. Okay?
I don't care how many of these old machines you buy on eBay to transform into slow walking death machines. I'm not afraid. You want to know why I'm not scared? You've seen the movies, you should know that a little wraparound with a rope is going to trip up your plans (DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE FRED? IT'S BECAUSE I'M GOING TO FLY SHIPS AROUND YOUR FUCKING LEGS UNTIL YOU FALL OVER).
Just look at how slow this thing moves. There's no way that it can defeat my fast moving ships... What's that? They lost the Battle of Hoth? Yeah, I know that's what happened in the movies, Fred, I'm not an idiot.
But listen, we've learned from our mistakes. We can make it happen against you and your group of slow moving metal pieces of junk. That's right! I said junk! Hey! What are you doing? Get your hands off me!
I thought this was a fun little game we were playing Fred, come on now, I was just joking around. You know I love Star Wars. You think I really hate you? That's not even close to the truth. I was at your goddamn wedding for Christ's sake. I know you like building things, alright. I was just trying to be playful about it. Alright, fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of those things I said.
Here, you can see how he made the thing here. And yeah, I'll be over for dinner Sunday night. I'm sorry.