A friend of mine told me recently she hooked up with a guy she knew for years. A guy that, for the last 6 years, lingered in the background, a name laughed at when mentioned because he is just so random.
Defiantly not a prospective relationship, or to be honest, a prospective fuck.
And yet, a few days ago, after way to many drinks and friends who thought they were trying not to cockblock, she woke up at his apartment fully aware something happened.
And that is when the idea of the "Gray Area" comes up.
We've talked about it before, moments when you are really drunk and pop back to reality in the middle of a hook up more then a little confused. This usually happens when both parties are wasted, and their ability to make a decision ended somewhere around shot 10.
Both parties are equally impaired, both are consensual, and even if they regret fucking their lab partner, it is not rape.
However, there seems to be a bit of confusion still, so I think its time we talk about consent when any drug in involved, because the idea of a "gray area" should not exist.
Tips About Consent:
1. If someone is clearly fucked up (this means drunk, high, or tripping) to the point where they have trouble walking straight or keeping a train of thought, THEY CAN NOT CONSENT.
Yupp, there is only one tip, because honestly, I really don't think that its that difficult to understand. And yet millions of people (college kids especially) still can't figure out that a person stumbling home isn't stumbling into your arms.
There shouldn't be a gray area when it comes to consent and what scares me so much is that there is. That people could see me drunk and instead of helping me to a friend, help me to their bed.
And please don't come at me saying maybe people should drink less, because I have the god given right to get wasted whenever I want, and it wouldn't be an issue if people understood that they shouldn't sexually assault me. You are part of the problem.
As a generation who can actually make a difference, as the people who can make a change, lets cut the shit.
Consent doesn't mix with any type of drug, so if they are on one, you don't have their consent. Back the fuck off and hope that maybe you can get lucky when they are sober. And if you can't, thats your issue, not theirs.