My homies @AlloBaber and @Arellano1052 tagged me in sharing my 2016 New Year's Resolutions. I can't believe we're only a little over 2 weeks away from 2016. I feel like it was only yesterday when I was at my sister's apartment, getting drunk on hot cocoa with butterscotch schnapps, and eating my weight in nachos. (That's what I did last NYE. Not last weekend. I promise.)
Next year, I want to be pettier.
That's not a typo for 'prettier'. It's an actual desire to get on the level of petty people. Are you the friend that always has to be the 'bigger person' and apologize? Are you the one who always reminds everyone to 'choose their battles' because 'life is short' and you'll be 'taking the high road' if you do? Yeah, forget that noise. In 2016, I won't be afraid of speaking up or speaking out at the risk of looking petty. At least until 2017. Then I'll go back to being zen.
Next year, I will take myself out on dates.
I really like to eat at expensive restaurants, but all my friends are broke or vegan. I really like to watch foreign movies, but all my friends are into 'Hunger Games' and Jared Leto. I really like museums, art exhibits, and live music, but once again, no one's into it. So what happens? I don't eat at these restaurants, watch these movies, or go to these museums because I'm too paranoid about being judged for hanging out alone. 2016 will be different.
Next year, I will drink more sparkling water.
Do you know how delicious sparking water is? Not only does it make you feel a little like royalty, but if you're trying to be an adult and kick your soda habit, those bubbles make you feel like you're drinking something a little more 'effervescent' than your standard Aquafina. Plus, the flavors, homies. They're so good. I'm having a Bulgarian peach sparkling water right now, and it's making me feel all sorts of grown.
Next year, I will invest in good eye cream.
Eye cream is so expensive, you guys. Plus you never really know if it's going to actually work or if it's just some sort of backward money trap. In 2016, I will actually do my homework and find the best eye cream that works for me, and I will stop these crow's feet in their tracks so that I don't wake up each morning looking a little bit more like a Polish grandmother.
Next year, I will come to terms with my crush on Nick Jonas.
So you're funny. You can sing. You work out now. And you're no longer pop idol jailbait. I get it, Nick Jonas. I really do. But you cannot have me no matter how fine I look in my J.Crew sweatpants, surrounded by my convenience store snacks, during a Saturday Netflix-binge of 'Jane The Virgin'. Some things aren't meant to be. So take your square jaw and your puppy dog eyes and move them elsewhere, sir. ELSEWHERE.