When I used to be a responsible human being and a babysitter, my nephews would sometimes ask me, "Where do babies come from?" And, well, I couldn't tell them where babies actually came from (which is nowhere because no one's explained this to me yet and I'm dying to know. Please explain it to me. Where do they come from?), so I just made something up.
And I said the same thing. Every single time they asked me. That they were made in a weird factory with storks and red-haired women. And it was always as a joke. I mean, I didn't think it was a real thing. I swear, I didn't know babies came from factories but it looks like I was right since this time. Mom, I was right about something.
Storks is a documentary that's coming out soon from the same studio that brought us The Lego Movie. "Paul, those are Computer Generated Images" you say to me through the Internet and at your phone/computer screen. But no, wait, come on. If this isn't where babies come from, where do they? I bet you can't answer that one.
It just makes sense to me that they would be made in some kind of weird factory. Babies are so weird man. They're so cute but they poop so much it's intense. Have you ever watched over twins while they were still wearing diapers? I've changed so many diapers, the only thing that makes sense is that they're made in factories. Little, tiny, cute, poop machines. That's what babies are.
Storks will be in theaters on September 3rd, 2016