VeronicaArtino
2 years ago100+ Views
To Love and Be Loved is Such Sweet Sorrow Part 4 (Revamped and Edit If read Once Read it again its different)
(Your POV)
So I am six months pregnant and exhausted like hell, Jiyong.
I type in an email....
Did I tell you here in Ohio in July it hasn't been below 88 degrees Fahrenheit. I have no a/c in our apartment. The only a/c I get is by car. I bet you are laughing right now. So I have been working my two jobs and going to school full time. I just started my internship for medical assisting. At the end of August I will be down with classes but have to wait until May to graduate. So just imagine me with a rounded belly, plus my insomnia, and working two jobs and going to school...so you pictured it right...Stop laughing you would be right I have darker circles than Panda. He pulls them off better than me but do not tell him that he will only have a bigger ego. So you may be thinking why is she telling me this....Because I literally have no one to bitch and complain to besides the idiot who put the baby in my belly that is just as tired from working his job. Besides that I am telling you this because at my internship today when I took my lunch break I ran up to the gas station to buy some beverages. I was looking down through my purse as I was walking and I bumped into this guy....I say sorry and look up but I have to look all the way up. He was a tall guy and guess what a pro athlete. Yes you read that right a pro athlete, from my favorite basketball team. This is my third time meeting him. Each time has not been a pleasant encounter. He freaking started yelling at me for scuffing his shoe. Now mind you I am pregnant and hormonal. I step back and look at Lebron James, who thinks he is the king of Cleveland, which he is not. I ream into him about being a condescending jerk, that I apologized, and that I am not in the mood right now being pregnant, hot and tired to deal with his imaginary offense. Jiyong, I know you are probably laughing at the image being produced in your head me being all of 5'2 with belly, and talking with my hands. But there is more to add to this image. He looks down at me and was like "You owe me a pair of shoes." (a/n this argument with Lebron did happen in July 2007).This is where I blew up even more. "Are you out of your ever frickin' mind. You have an endorsement deal and get a new pair." I scream at him. But I take a tissue out of my bag and squat down and rub the scuff mark of his shoe. Look back up at him. Flick him the finger and walk away to go buy my water. He is definitely not my favorite person. I just thought I share this horrid story with you Jiyong. I am typing this email to you at 3 am where I am at and that is roughly 5pm where you are at and I am wondering what you are specifically doing at this time. I imagine you are writing or producing. But what I am hoping for is you being absolutely busy and hanging with the boys. Give them all hugs for me. Yes all. Ok while I need to end this here to get some sleep, because I need to get up in 4 hours for my internship, followed by my job, and then class. I just hope my baby boy growing in my belly will allow me. I play some music; he especially likes your voice and taeyang's. Thanks for sending those little clips of you and the boys singing nursery rhymes for me. Love, (Y/N)
I look at the send button and press it. I close the laptop. Get up put it on the table. Grab the headphones and mp3 player I have and put the headphones on my belly as I lay down on the couch. I drift off to sleep. (His POV) I walk in and I see Jiyong laughing so hard he's crying. I ask what is so funny. He turns to me and grabs me down and sits me down in front of the computer. He points at the screen and I read an email from (y/n). I could see what made him laugh. I smile. Jiyong wraps his arms around me. Then he whistles walking away. I am super jealous of Jiyong that he has this camaraderie with her. I could have this with her I realized if I just email her. That's when a thought hit me. He left his email open I can type a message to her pretending to be Jiyong. I was about to when I thought better of it. I looked at the screen very tempted but then got up and left to write some more music.
(Your POV) End of August comes fast. My favorite cousin throws me a baby shower, and my internship has come to an end. I am not feeling so good lately. I think it may be time to take time off from work until the baby is born maybe. Jiyong's emails lately have been few and far between with all the training and shows they have to do. Half way through September and I keep telling my self I only have 6 more weeks to go. I finally stop working. Especially after falling a few times and having stock fall on my head. I am definitely to clumsy for my own good. I am anxious and really ready for the arrival of whom I am sure will be the love of my life forever and always. Here comes October and I am laying down on the couch watching the Tyra Banks Show. I have a fever of 102 degrees Fahrenheit and not feeling good. I am home alone with no car because my fiancé Nate is working. I get up to use the bathroom like six times straight thinking I had to pee. On the last stop to the bathroom my water breaks. I call my older sister Angela and my best friend Chelsie who are both in class about to go on break. *Hey guess what? My water broke. I figure you guys would want to know. Especially since I am home alone and do not have a car. I will wait for you.* *WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Class is done we are on our way!!* *Cool take your time. I am in no hurry.* I lie. *Change into a different pair of pants and grab your bag and a towel to sit on.* My sister instructs. I wait 30 minutes and she arrives. Luckily for me Nate, my fiancé only works like 5 minutes away from the hospital I will be at. I call up his work and tell his manager I am at the hospital and that my water broke and to come when his shift ended in an hour. I arrive at the hospital. They send me up to the maternity ward where I am met by one of my doctor's associates. A very good looking male doctor. He assures me I will have this baby within the first 24 hours since it is my first. I laugh at him and explained both of my sisters with their first borns where in labor for 2-3 days before emergency C-sections had to be down. He leaves and says he won't let me go that long. The nurse name is Ronnie and I instantly love her. She asked me who would be staying with me. I told her my two Sisters Angela and Tiffany since they both have kids but they didn't have a live birth and want to see one. I have no idea why they want to witness that. That Nate, the father of the unborn miracle and my fiancé would be here soon. Chelsie my best friend stays with me until visiting hours is over and promises to come back and see the little munchkin. I smile at her and give her a hug. The nurse takes my vitals and frowns at my temperature. I smile weakly. She orders some medicine to go through the IV to bring my temperature down since in my belly my baby temperature is higher. She starts the Poticin. She checks how dilated I am. I am only four cm and need to be ten for the baby. Doctors come in and out of my room since it is a learning hospital. They ask me if I am ok with this. I laugh and say I am use to no privacy coming from a big family. Plus my sisters will be with me anyways. Nate my fiancé laughs. I ask them to check how dilated I am again. A different nurse comes and says it is bad to check too many times. I tried to explain I was only checked once. She wasn't having it. She left. I try to fall asleep but I am having a bad headache. I feel that my fever finally broke though. Ronnie the nurse from early steps in at 4 am. She asks if I am feeling any pain. I tell her no. She checks me and says I am at 6 cm. I am not dilating fast enough, I can tell. I tell her I have a severe migraine though. She gets Tylenol for me. I am finally able to sleep. I wake up the next day and my sisters are there bright eyed and excited. I just yawn and ask for some ice chips since I can not eat yet. A few hours pass and Ronnie comes in to check and says the doctor wants to do a C-Section. It is a different doctor from before but one I know none the less. She was the doctor I met at my last check up. Ronnie checks and says it is too late for a C-Section I am at 8 cm. She asks if I want an epidermal. I am about to say no when my sisters convince me that I should. But I am not feeling any pain. Everyone has to leave the room when the guy who does the epidermal comes in. I feel the pressure in my back from the needle. I feel my one side go numb. Then an hour later Ronnie comes in and checks and she says this baby is ready to come. The only problem is the doctor is in the room next door delivering a baby. I hear the screams. Ronnie looks at me and says my neighbor is being dramatic. I laugh and snicker and tell her I still don't feel anything. She tells me I have a high pain tolerance. I tell her for physical pain yes I am not sure about emotional though. And she starts to laugh. She calls a few of the nurses in and one of the med students. One of my sisters grabs one of my feet and Nate the other. The other sister is up by my hand. Ronnie tells me to start pushing when I feel pressure. I feel pressure and his head comes out. I push some more. He is stuck at his shoulders. I push for three hours. I finally get past his shoulders. Ronnie tells me this is the last push. I told her I really didn't have enough energy and I will need help. The doctor comes in and smiles at me and takes her place. I look at Ronnie and she says she will help. I get up and push and she pushes on my stomach with all her weight and the baby comes out. Nate looks at me with tears in his eyes. I can tell something is wrong. They take the baby away. And start incubating him. He came out not breathing. They take him away. I didn't even get to see him. The doctor assures me in one hour I will get to see him. Christoper Aaron was born to the world on October 19, 2007 at 5:19 pm, weighing 8 lbs 1 oz and 21 3/4 inches in length. My leg is still numb so they roll my little guy in attacked to ivs but place him on my chest. He is so perfect. He snuggles deeply. I am so happy to have met this little prince. My world just changed for the better. Christopher had to stay in the NICU for 4 weeks because of the fever I had. We came home and got adjusted to life.
December 2007 - December 2012 I emailed Jiyong and the guys pictures of my munchkin and told them they had nothing on this kid for charisma. This made them all jealous. But that didn't stop them from trying to win with cutesy faces and antics. I started working again. Then I told them how Christopher had colic and I couldn't get sleep unless my hand was on him at all times. I maybe slept like four hours in four days and was starting to resent my mini me. I eventually went and stayed with my father who helped me. Jiyong and Daesung emailed me back and forth with Korean wives tales on how to help my little guy to sleep. I smiled at them but my father finally helped me. I finally got back some more sleep. Months passed and I ended up with a surprise visit from Jiyong, Daesung, Taeyang, and Seungri. Seung-hyun was busy filming a drama. They came and held my little guy and made jokes. They brought me joy. I was just a pit stop on some trip for their career. But I couldn't have been more happy to see them. I introduced them to Nate and they got along. They shared some humor and music interests. They left. In May 2008 I went saw my baby sister graduate with a five month old along for the ride. He was an absolute angel on the plane. But of course I took tons of pictures of my cutie to show of to Jiyong. I told him he could learn from my little man for his cute pictures. And thus begun a picture war for years to come. Summer of 2009 I broke up with Nate and sent my son to my father for the whole summer. Nate and I where fighting more and more and I forgot why I loved him. I emailed Daesung and Taeyang for advise instead of Jiyong.
Tae, and Dae,I feel like my world is falling apart. I have lost my self. I seem to fight constantly with Nate. It has become so bad. He is staying with his mother while I sent my son down to Florida with my dad. Chris does not need to be around our toxic environment right now with all this fighting. What should I do. I still love Nate. I just don't know how to get through to him. I am younger than him but act more grown up. What should I do? I am not ready to give up yet. I love both of you and asking because you two are the most romantic. Love,(y/n)

I hit send. (His POV) I walk in on Tae and Dae discussing (y/n) and how best to help her. What advice they could give her. They do not hear me come up behind them. I read an email over their heads. So there is trouble in paradise. *Hyung, what did you say,* they both ask. Shit I hadn't realize I spoke that part out loud. *Umm, why don't you tell her to talk to him and agree to have a date night once a week and get reacquainted while their son is gone for the summer. But both take time to work on themselves.* Why did I just give advice? I want her back in my life. I guess I just want her to be happy. I am happy with my career right now. But I still have a place missing in my heart where she should be. *You are a genius hyung.* They both praise me. I smile and said but of course.
(your Pov) The summer passed real fast but I took Tae and Dae's advice. Nate and I got back together and where happier than ever before. We really did need to reconnect and take time for ourselves away from being parents. Again a few years past. I was going back to school for my bachelors in Health Adminstration and Business. When my dad called my about moving back to Florida to help take care of my grandparents and his health issues. Nate and I where fighting again. I still discussed moving to Florida with him. We where on a break again. I asked him if he wanted to move to Florida. He said yes. So I made plans with my father. I had a job interview set up for when I arrived in Florida. Nate had to stay behind to finish a court case for his other child from a previous relationship. He followed 2 months later. I was so unhappy when I moved to Florida. Once again I emailed each of the boys about my move. I asked for some relationship advise. Of course they delivered. I could tell they where tired of delivering that kind of advice. Seungri though decided to ask which of them was my bias in the group. I laughed so hard tears came streaming out of my eyes. I emailed Jiyong. Jiyong, Seungri just asked which one of you was bias. Has he not figured it out yet? You are my ultimate bias. Surprising right. TOP (see I didn't call him by his real name is my bias wrecker. Let's be honest if he ever talked to me again he be the ultimate bias and not the wrecker. He still owns a part of my heart. I think that is why I haven't fully committed to Nate. Tell panda though he is on my bias wrecker list too. Tae and Dae I see as brothers. Well love you. Hope this finds you well. Love,(Y/N) (His POV) I walk up as GD is taunting Seungri. *I am her ultimate bias. Hahahaha you owe me $500. I told you it would be me. No one can resist my charm,* Jiyong taunts. Seungri turns to me with a pout on his face. *Hyung, GD is being mean. He won't stop his victory dance.* *Why are you gloating Jiyong,* I ask. He motions me forward. Sits me in front of the email. I am floored. She misses me just as much as I miss her. Maybe I should put my plan into action now... I sit down and comply an email to my first love...
(Y/N) I hope this email finds you well. I know it has been years since I contacted you but you have never left my heart and never far from my thoughts...
I start typing this and am quite hesitant to finish this email but I must continue
I remember all our long talks and all the music we would listen to. What are you listening to these days. Have you seen any of my latest projects with acting? Have you been writing anymore poetry and music. I still have your poetry book and re-read your words when I especially miss you. I know you may be wondering why it has taken me years to reach out to you. Well I hear about you all the time from our boys. At first I was hurt and angry and then I just didn't know how to reach out to you. I want to be friends again do you think this is a possibility at all? Well I look forward to hearing from you. Your once upon a time best friend, Choi Seung Hyun
3 comments
is there going to be a part 5?
2 years ago·Reply
yes I am working on it now. I got writers block. I'll tag you when I'm done @nanashi865
2 years ago·Reply
OK thank you and good luck :-)
2 years ago·Reply
4
3
4