2 years ago10,000+ Views

We made it weird.

Also... MERRY CHRISTMAS. I hope you're all having an awesome holiday (or a nice day off if you don't celebrate). I hope this marvelous mad lib brings you some cheer ^_^
Loki was tied up in the bathroom corner while the team ate. The restaurant was mysteriously quiet.
"Feels like something else is about to go wrong," Clint observed while shoveling kidney into his mouth.
"Way to jinx us buddy," Tony glanced at Loki, who looked sweaty. "You hungry over there?"
"Keep your angry foodstuffs to yourself peasant."
Steve almost snorted ramen through his nose.
"Peasant. That's a new one Stark. Aren't you in like, the top one percent of the one percent?"
Tony shrugged.
"What can I say? It's a hard knock life. Even for the modern-day kings of New York."
Loki got a purple glimmer in his eye. "So... if I were to rob you, I'd be the king of the Earth?"
Tony shrugged. "Sure. There's a pile of gold in my basement. But you'd have to get past the boob scanner, the lasers, and the talking tiger I hired for security. Doesn't seem worth it."
"Or," Loki smirked. "I could just teleport to your basement."
With that, Loki disappeared in a flash of grumpy smoke.
"See," Tony glared at Clint. "Jinxed."
"Tony," Steve rolled his eyes. "Why did you tell him where it was?"
Natasha snorted. "Why would Tony Stark keep all of his wealth in a pile of gold in his basement? He's not a pirate."
"I sent him to an angry trap. When he gets there Loki is going to have to deal with a deadly sweater."
Bruce glanced at Tony.
Tony blinked.
"Um. Maybe not deadly. Maybe he'll just lose a foot or be in some pain for a while-"
"We must go after him!" Thor bellowed, upending a skyscraper.
Natasha and Steve were already out the door. The other Avengers followed, laughing through New York. Fangirling bystanders jumped out of the way. When they arrived at Stark Tower, alarms were already going off.
"Hey Jarvis, be a friend and tell me everything is fine."
"Everything is fine sir, which is why all of the alarms are blaring and staff is evacuating. At least nothing is on fire this time."
Natasha, Bruce, and Clint helped the pretty employees exit the building while Steve, Thor, and Tony kicked their way to the basement. They heard a fluffy sound coming from behind the door. With one hand on the handle, Tony looked at all of them.
"Now, I don't know what we're going to find in there. He may have succumbed to the hallucinogens or mind altering dog by now."
"Just open the door," Thor muttered, wielding his hammer.
Tony did, with an erotic flourish. They found...

Poor Loki!

Thank you to @LAVONYORK @LenaBlackRose @Slatechu and @MichelleHolly for contributing to this one! Here's what the next chapter will need:
1. -ing verb
2. Disney-approved swear word
3. body part
4. noun
5. adjective
6. noun
7. adjective
8. verb
9. adjective
10. body part

Have an awesome holiday everyone!

I am revelling in the weirdness....bring me more!!!!
@YoSoySoysauce lol it's gross and I love it @BeannachtOraibh I accept this as canon now :D
I'm quite proud of "love slug"... lolll
1. lip syncing 2. gosh-darn yellowbellied fopdoodle 3. nostril 4. swoon 5. oily 6. glitter bomb 7. irritating 8. pelvic thrust 9. rigorously 10. "love slug" ;)
@YoSoySoysauce eeexcellent :D @BeannachtOraibh these are glorious
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