6 years ago1,000+ Views
These days I find myself meeting new men that sometimes makes me wonder if he will be an improved version from my previous him. So, my best friend made an observation about my scope being too narrow. She asked the question “How can you know he is the one that you want to anchor if you have no one else to compare?” My instant answer to that question started with the letter “w” and it’s definitely not a good word people want to be related to. Standing strong with my view of not dating/seeing several people at once, one year passed with “me focusing on my career”. Last summer, it started to rain and it poured. After endless introductions “meet a friend of my friend” I found myself seeing 3 different men each with his respectively intriguing qualities. Every date, hang out I got to see their corks, table manners and unconscious habits. After incredible multi-tasking and juggling different conversations within a period of 2 months, I finally had to cave in to my friend, agreeing with her theory that monogamy can only be reached after carefully comparing the players. This also came with a confident “I told you” gaze from her, boosting her relationship-advisory’s self-esteem. Having tasted the multi-player experience, it made me wonder if there were any people who had the same experience like mine, if so, with how many? Have you ever had this pre-monogamy period where you tested the waters with several players? What do thy Vinglers say about this?!
@alise I think whether it would be boring or not, is really up to the individual. I met this couple once, married 45 years. They were both so refreshing because they were just so honest and open about their lives. One day, I sat down and asked her about her marriage. Did either of you ever cheat? Ever get so tired of the same thing, day in and day out? She said she would be lying if she said it was great all the time. It wasn't. She said they've had their joyful moments and moments of great tragedy. There were times when both of them became very unsure about the future of their relationship. But, she grow to know a person and they become part of your soul. He understands her in ways so few can and vice versa. And their love for each other, while not what they had at the beginning, she says it's still there, although it's just a much more quiet love. She told me the world has changed so much and young people are certainly different from her day. (^_^) But, she said she would still marry him in another life. Still makes me tear up when I think of them.
@alise that is so true! LOL that does sound like a very boring cycle of then what kind of life cycle do you lean to ? ; )
So here is another situation, what if the human was born to be monogamy? Would it be boring? and our the love story would be as boring as watching a hero movie without a villian ? ( The circle of our live would just be : Be born in this world, school, fall in love once in a lifetime, get married, have children, and die!)
@miranpark88 I don't know what good I did in a past life. He accepts all of me, the good and alllllll the bad. He's extraordinarily kind. It's perfectly natural to be scared. Date different people, travel, do some crazy things, and then see what it is you're looking for in a partner. I'm sure you'll be just fine. You've got a great head on your shoulders. ;-)
@YinofYang!! wow it's so cool that you're married and you're so into your husband and vice versaaaaa!!! but im always scared to see if this is the right person for me...
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