Dearest G-Dragon, You don't know me, and probably never will, and I know you, but I'll never personally know you. That sucks but its okay. I don't need you to know me, I just need you to one day really know what you've done for me, and I hope one day you are able to read this some way. So, I came across BigBang in June maybe July of 2015 and that was probably the best time I could have discovered you. I fell completely in love with your voice, and then I fell for your looks, personality and all that.
Shortly after discovering you, I started slipping back into a state of depression basically, and I haven't quite gotten out of it.. But I'm still breathing, I'm still waking up every day and I'm still trying to get better and I have you to thank for giving me the strength to do that. Every time I wanted to cry or was crying, I'd turn to your music, I'd watch music videos and interviews and your voice and your enchanting smile made me feel better every time. One night, I was extremely bad and I wanted to hurt myself, but instead of doing that I turned on your music and drew on my arms and I made it through. So thank you for that night.
Months later I traveled to Arizona without my parents, just me, my aunt, uncle and cousins. It was probably the scariest moment of my life but I listened to BigBang with my cousin while we were flying and my fear was gone! October 2nd 2015.. That day will forever be one of the best days of my entire life because I saw you, I watched you perform in Las Vegas. I flew across the country just for the concert. You guys put on a wonderful performance and it was an amazing experience! You didn't see me but I sure saw you. I fell even more in love with you that day.
Shortly after that day everything fell apart again and I still don't have it back together.. My two best friends in the whole world decided that they'd rather be friends with a girl who put us all through hell than me.. It was the worst heartbreak I had ever felt, I cried for weeks and I still cry... Throughout the time between then and now, I listened to your solo music, BigBang albums and I watched multiple videos, especially my concert videos. Although it couldn't put everything back together, it made me stop crying and feel happier one day at a time. So I guess what I'm saying in conclusion is that you and BigBang are helping me through this horrible state of depression and I will always be thankful for that. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you and I'd love to meet you one day even if its just touching your hand while you walk by.. It would mean the world to me but I'd be satisfied just knowing you maybe read this one day.. That would be just as meaningful. GD, G-Dragon, Kwon Jiyong.. My everything.. I love and adore you and I always will. Thank you for helping through this every day no matter how badly I want to be gone. Thank you for making me who I am today. I will never forget how you helped me and I just hope one day you know how you helped me, changed me, and how much I adore you. Please be healthy and happy in the coming years and know we all appreciate everything you do. All my love, Ashley, a very very thankful VIP