We have all been there.
The first date goes well. He pays. Takes you home, gives you a goodnight kiss. When he gets home he texts you explaining what an amazing time he had and you never hear from him again. Why does this happen? It was all good just a week ago, right? At least it seemed that way. You drive yourself crazy questioning who, what, when, where and most of all why?
Why haven't you heard from him? Why did he ghost on you like that? Why won't he reply to your texts or calls? Why you? Those are all questions that deserve answers, but unfortunately sometimes we don't quite get the answers we need and we end up moving on. It's a cycle that's meant to be broken. Is it us? Is it them? Well, I don't have all the answers -- but if you keep scrolling you might get a bit of insight from a few men who dish the deets on the real reasons why they went Casper the 'not so friendly' ghost on you.
"I know most people would say I should have just told her right then and there that I didn't see a future, but those people aren't thinking about how insanely confrontational that could get."
"I met a girl on Plenty of Fish and we had really strong conversations. At one point she did say that she was looking for more than just sex, but I told her I had a more "wait and see" approach to getting into a relationship. When we finally met up, we had sex, but I knew nothing more would come of it. Still, while we were cuddling afterward she was trying to make plans with me for us to go get tattoos at the same time. I know most people would say I should have just told her right then and there that I didn't see a future, but those people aren't thinking about how insanely confrontational that could get. So instead I went home, she texted frequently then sporadically, and I haven't talked to her since." —Max, 28
"By the time I woke up, I already had four messages from her. Four."
"A few years ago I met a girl at a bar, and we had a great conversation and exchanged numbers really quickly. The next morning, she sent me a flood of messages in the span of two hours. So by the time I woke up, I already had four messages from her. Four. "HEYY!! Let's get some whiskey again ;)" "Hey whats up, you want to grab a drink tonight?" "Still hungover?? LOL!" "How about breakfast??" That was enough for me to feel like I had to shut it down, but instead of sending a reply text, I ghosted. She got the message. In retrospect I should've replied sooner, but in this case 'ghosting' got the message across." —Adam, 29
"She stuck her fingers in my nostrils in the middle of the bar."
"Recently, I ghosted on a girl because the second date with her was just so awful that I had zero desire to speak with her again. She stuck her fingers in my nostrils in the middle of the bar (as a joke, she claimed), wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise, and I could just tell we were on two different pages in terms of our interests. It was such an overwhelming, awful experience that I just wanted to get away from the situation as quickly as possible, so I ghosted her. The other times I've ghosted women, it wasn't that extreme. It usually just boils down to not having a great experience on an early date and deciding to just not move forward and letting that action speak for itself, rather than say anything to the other person." —William, 26
"I was going to be out of town for the next three weekends and didn't want to feel restrained from new relationships forming."
"The only girl I've ever ghosted was a girl I met on Tinder. She was beautiful, had great style, and was really fun. While we didn't have the strongest connection, I still enjoyed my time learning about her, her family, and her career. Sadly, we started dating in the middle of the summer and there came a point where I realized that I was going to be out of town for the next three weekends and didn't want to feel like I couldn't date other people during that time. We'd never talked about being exclusive, so I just ghosted her, since it seemed like she wanted a monogamous relationship. I've felt childish and guilty about it ever since. I've tried to apologize to her, but the few times I've seen her around, she wouldn't make eye contact with me, so I just left her alone." —Adam, 25
"After we slept together, I realized I didn't want a relationship."
"I met a girl on Tinder and we really hit it off. We met up for drinks and the connection was really strong and I really wanted to date her. We dated for a few weeks and even slept together, but after we slept together, I realized I didn't want a relationship. Not just with her, but with anyone. I didn't want to bother to explain to her that I know I said I wanted to be in a relationship but now my plans had changed, so I just stopped responding to her texts and figured she'd get the message." —Derek, 29
Are these guys reasons worth it or worthless?
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