It's been a decade since you let me know I was fat. I think your exact words where;
"You fall just into the obese scale on the chart. You should try the South Beach diet, thats what I'm doing..."
as you rest the chart that has burned obese into my skull on your perfectly round belly.
I'll be honest, before you, I didn't realize I was fat. I thought I was big boned, baby weight, a brut on the basketball courts. I didn't pay attention to the fact that I couldn't shop in Limited Too and was pretty content with my jeans from the Juniors section of JC Penny's.
So I wanted to let you know, that you are the one who let me know I was fat. And let me tell you, learning that at the age of 12 doesn't foster a healthy relationship with my own body.
I'm 23 now and still make Fat Girl jokes. Don't worry, their mostly jokes...sort of. It's taken a while, but I have grown out of the word obese, although the way my stomach still rolls around the top of my jeans leaves me nauseous, obsessing over my last meal.
So I just have a few questions for you Doctor, who easily regurgitated Obese at my still baby fat cheeks.
Did you even bother to look at me? Realize that years of leaving early from basketball practice to make it to my dance classes 3 times a week made my legs into rocks? Muscled and strong in a way that weighs more than fat?
Did you even care that my chest was already two sizes too big for a 12 year old, puberty hitting me like a ton of bricks, making my hight and stomach expand into a womanhood that I wasn't ready for yet?
Did you even bother to ask yourself if telling a 12 year old girl to go on a fad diet that wouldn't work would destroy her? Because you had to realize it would shatter my heart; the one that was also a few sizes to big. The one who didn't understand the difference between fat and skinny, bad and pretty.
Did you even take a second to realize that the word Obese would haunt me for years, a shadow during every shopping trip, a bad taste in my mouth I would force myself to swallow before ordering food with my friends?
I just wanted to let you know, after a decade, I've decided to not listen to you or your stupid chart.
My body is beautiful, and strong, and so much more than the number on the scale.
Dear doctor, you should lose your license for hurting a child like this. Malpractice.