Q. What did we all learn in Speed Dating 101?
A. Stop asking so many questions!
True, but you can't have a conversation without a few questions, here and there. Here are some gentle probing questions that you can ask your date to get a better idea of who this person is (beyond the here and now). You want to get a grip on the type of person you're having dinner with and decide if this is someone you can gel with on a day-to-day dating basis.
Now, don't go into the date with a pad of paper and a pencil.
Don't ask these questions all at once, that's what creepers do.
These questions are meant to be sprinkled into the conversation, so as not to be alarming. Remember to keep the tempo of the night and keep with the flow of topics and conversation.
#1. Do you enjoy your work?
This is something you should ask when the topic of work is already in progress. When they're talking about work, instead of learning what they do, learn why they love it or don't love it. Are they just playing the victim card at work? Do they have passions elsewhere? Discover WHO this person is.
#2. How do you regroup when you're having a bad day?
This assumes that we all know that we all have bad days sometimes. The trick here, is to learn what active, positive choices/steps are taken to either fix it, right it, or deal with it. If your date mentions something about Molly or Tina--RUN!
#3. How long since your last relationship ended?
This question is almost impossible to sugarcoat. But that's okay. You're allowed to ask sobering questions--just not a lot of them. Ultimately, you want to know what this person's agenda is. If they just exited a relationship, you can bet that they're probably just looking for something loose and quick or a scary fast-forward rebound. If significant time has passed, it's more likely that they will be serious about developing a strong loyal loving relationship.
Depending on your date's responses, will determine how many more questions you think you want to ask. Just remember, DON'T GO OVERBOARD ON THE Q AND A. Trust your instincts and go with your gut.
What is ONE QUESTION you asked that TOLD YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED TO KNOW?
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