nicolejb
2 years ago500+ Views
Q: I'm jealous but I don't want to be!
Alright, new question for the lovely Lovebugs. My friend came to me about something she struggles with, but I must admit I tend to struggle with it too. So I need extra help with this one too. I summed up the question for everyone! Let me know what your thoughts are!
Q: My friend [22F] has been in a relationship with a guy [24M] for almost 2 years now. He has a lot of girl friends that he hangs out. One in particular, let's call her Fiona, and him hang out almost every day. They text a lot. My friend knows that there isn't anything there, and has talked to her bf about it. But she still feels jealous about all the time they spend talking to each other. She knows that the jealousy annoys her bf, but she can't help but feel jealous. Her big question is... "I keep feeling jealous and I don't like it, but how can I stop feeling this way?!"
Tagging some people I saw in the talk also asking/giving advice!!

Can you all help me help my friend?

If you haven't checked it out already, Vingle's "Talk" in the Love and Relationship Community has a ton of awesome questions and people discussing relationship problems.
And follow my collection for more Qs too!
5 comments
Well...what exactly is she jealous of? does she think he's into her, is it them having time together?
2 years ago·Reply
Tell her to think about how she would feel if her guy friend acted all jealous that she was hanging out with her friends? Jealousy isn't brought on by anyone except yourself!
2 years ago·Reply
Jealousy doesn't help anything but telling him/her the truth isn't bad either Tell them how you feel about it but also not getting into an argument.
2 years ago·Reply
Ok. 1. Is she overexaggerating about the amount of time they are spending together? If not, then the girl could have a crush not the bf. He may not be aware or he may like the extra attention. 2. She knew he had a lot of female friends, so why is this one a problem? 3. If she talks to bf, don't be accusatory. She should state her needs in the relationship. Ask him how he feels and what he wants. I wouldn't mention the other girls because she knew ahead of time. It is bound to start an argument and as someone stated would she give up her guy friends. 4. Usually, when there is a situation like this there is something else going on. For example, was her last bf a cheater. Does the other girl look like someone she dislikes? Has either of them cheated in the past? I wish them the best. Relationships take work and being honest will save time and pain.
2 years ago·Reply
Yeah, essentially she's jealous of all the time they spend together and how much they talk @InPlainSight. Agreed, @caricakes, jealousy is brought up by your own insecurities I think, but in this case she really wants to not be jealous...so I guess it's more of an active way of wanting to be better? @DamariusKelley totally, good point! I think I'll recommend she talks to him. It could also just be an issue of he not being able to express that. Ohhh yeah that's a good point @EasternShell. I never really asked if the female friend had a thing for her bf or not. I think even though she trusts her bf, it might be brought on by that. In conclusion, here are my follow ups: Ask if she communicated this to her bf, check and see if this friend has a thing for the bf, and maybe follow up about where the insecurity comes from. It may even stem from previous trust issues in relationship...her ex-bf (before this one) wasn't very good to her. Anything I missed?
2 years ago·Reply
9
5
1