I received a question yesterday from someone who'd like to know:
What's the simplest way to get a girl's attention? How can I get a girl away from her friends long enough to talk to her one on one?
Great question! I'm sure there are a ton of people out there with similar questions, which is why I decided to answer in a card. :)
There are answers here for two different scenarios: when she's a girl you've never met, who you're approaching for the first time; and when she's a girl you already know, who you'd like to impress and get to know better.
How can I get a girl's attention... when I don't know her?
Simple enough! Smile at her. Say hi. Introduce yourself to her and her friends. Start a conversation, exchange contact details, and after texting back and forth a few times, ask her out to coffee. Boom. Done.
Now, I understand that might seem a bit scary if it's not something you're used to doing. If you're not sure how to pull it off, or you want more details, go read my card How to Approach A Girl You've Never Met – Successfully!
What NOT to Do
Basically, don't use childish tactics to get her attention.
+ Don't act like little boys, running around, goofing off, making lots of noise in hopes that she'll look over. If she does, it'll be with a look of disgust. Trust me.
+ Don't make gross, lewd jokes or gestures.
+ Don't catcall, and don't compliment her figure until AFTER you get to know her.
+ Don't make mean jokes about her or tease her incessantly. A little joking around is fine – by all means, make her laugh – but be careful not to cross any lines you wouldn't cross with a friend.
+ Don't send a friend over to talk to her for you. It just shows you're too scared to talk to her – and what's confident or attractive about that?!
Seriously, go read my card about approaching girls you've never met before. It'll help a lot. :)
How can I get a girl's attention... when I already know her?
If she's a girl you already know, you can get her attention in a few different ways:
+ Be kind and considerate to everyone around you. When a guy is really, truly kind, it's incredibly attractive, because it means he'll treat us well.
+ Be successful. Work hard, challenge yourself, surpass expectations. Laziness isn't attractive, but ambition definitely is.
+ Be confident. Confidence is the number one most attractive quality anyone can have.
+ Talk to her. Don't try to be a cool guy and act like you never notice her. Say hi. Ask how her day's going. Find out what she's into. Let her see that you're taking the time to get to know her; it's flattering!
+ Look your best. Take showers, smell good, comb your hair, dress well. Get some help from your lady friends if you're not sure how to make yourself as sexy as possible.
What comes next?
Girls and guys aren't that different. If someone is nice to me, and a cool or interesting person (basically, I find anyone who is passionate about something to be an interesting person, no matter what their passion is), then I'm interested in getting to know them better and being friends, at the very least.
Ask if she'd like to hang out sometime. It doesn't have to be some big deal or grand, romantic gesture – just meet up for coffee, or go walk around a park. Go out for lunch. Grab drinks. See a movie. Bake cupcakes together. Seriously, whatever. And see what she'd like to do, too! Maybe she needs help picking out a gift for her brother, or would love company on her next jog. Just make it clear you want to hang out sometime and see where it goes from there.
Getting to know her lets you see if you want to take it further. And it lays the groundwork, so that when you want to move forward romantically, it doesn't come as a big, weird surprise. Just treat a girl well, be kind and polite, and be confident in your desire to get to know her better. Believe me – that catches our attention.