This is late and I've posted this on my WordPress, so here it is.
We stand, all of us in a military like line looking up at the night sky. I thought about this moment for so long I wasn’t sure it would happen. It’s been every other year: Same premise, lying traditions. We wait. All of us looking out at the city lights with tiny moving pedestrians wandering like ants carrying resources.
Every year is going to be the same. Every second, every minute, every hour, every day. The bad stuff and the good stuff that ends up being bad later. We worship this time in life to make it all go away. I can feel it passing behind me and I’m walking towards the edge of the unknown. We get closer.
Darkness falls. People disappear. I’m standing looking out at the bright, colorful lights of the city and sky. Rekindling last minute results on how to be a greater person. No, to be the best person I can possibly be in this moment and onward. I can smell the firewood smoke floating in spirals covering all but me like a wizard waving his staff to achieve unison. The moonlight over the junction and light from the fireworks as they go up and up gaze within my retinas. This world, this one place somewhere on Earth no one knows about is here and I can see right through it.
My friends, the ones I’ve known from past times are here out of the blue abyss and the new ones walk in casually. Are they really new ones who walk into our corners? They say dreams are images within the mind that will predict the future. Maybe they’re right. Who knows. I’ve got my own image here. It’s all around me. Do I wish to be whole to more kind, or will kindness doubt my own image to be whole? Perhaps I like the whole kindness bit when I’m here in this world I’ve pictured within these counting seconds. Here and alone.
Alone here in this cliff forged millions of years ago and remains still while stones, and trees, and creatures move rapidly ostracizing and gorging size to size while the Earth does it’s division. I think about the expectations that will unfold and think of the pity, and helpless, and the conflicted, and pain, and the supposed happiness granted upon me in my cold, dark, and awkward world, hoping that one day it’ll come soon because I have made sacrifices to the proposed dictators and freaks of Nature’s supreme obscurity. Passing on the sympathy and empathy of my subconsciousness insecurities, and dismemberment.
But in this mind of mine I’ve been living in a commodity of oddities and traditional lengths that usually never last long. This moment ticking away is one of them. I use time wisely. Everyone is crouching down to their knees getting ready to jump, their voices echo with booming barriers of synchronization towards the many skyscrapers and as far as the next populated island can see and hear. This is the moment where I can change, forget about all that is coming to me and actually move towards it, or them, or whatever it might be. I take hold of the hands from both sides of me, the people I’m with who are completely foreign to me and count down.
Ground control to Major Tom, this is history we’re making on our travels. Out there in the center of the universe, somewhere in the center of the universe, we are one. You can see it from here I’m sure. But I cannot see you, but I can here the melodies you play. The sounds grow distant like stepping out of a crowed nightclub from up here on this cliff. We’re counting down to start a new journey. We shout, I shout, and this moment is still shrouded with darkness, but the lights show patterns of singularity as if we’re getting close to the stars themselves. What can we do? How can we commence forth what we are going to do?
I can see an orchestra, a choir, and Noel Gallagher singing words of hope and mystery. This one song that fits perfectly to me. Why am I with these people? The people I’m holding hands with counting down and passing through time?
And all the roads that lead you there are winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There’s no going back to where I came from. So, I’m stuck for good and leading onward. I’m scared. I’m curious. I am just. I am blinded by the vastness of the Cosmos. The feeling of roaming in the Cosmos. Being in this moment is my one way out from all I’ve been through.
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you but I don’t know how
I could talk to you about commitment, honesty, wanting to be heard. You are not me, and I’m not you. So what’s the real question to ask when I see you for the first time? How well will the outcome turn out? Do you lack efficiency to make the movement on where to start, or is it your efficiency is so clouded by judgement and sorrow you find your true ending? Noel leads into the chorus and the sounds of the choir building their vocal renderings to a sweet, soft, and blissful cry as we are ready to jump up with the lights and the entire population.
I can only see forward and the darkness of smoke and the sound of moving cars behind me move away. Cheerful faces are painted on the population. We build up energy from our insides and look up at the night sky, all eyes fixated.
We leap up and watch all distributed firework and sparks fly upwards creating an immense ever glow with expanded geometry and velocity. This moment in time where I can no longer think about the long, terminal effects of getting this far into the soon-to-be past year I am here with new eyes. I’m safe. I am okay. We had fun, we had our time, this is now. A world I wished would last longer. A rare event that outlasts all other venues. We are free.
Happy new year!