I toyed with titling this card something more to the effect of "signs you're in love with a man (not a boy)" or "with a woman (not a girl)" but this kind of says it all.
The person you're dating/want to date is either an actual, whole, interesting, passionate, mature human being – or they're not.
We've had a couple discussions recently on the differences between women and girls, the differences between men and boys, which one is more desirable, etc. A lot of us agreed (myself included) that there are "youthful" qualities you DEFINITELY want in a partner – ability to have fun, be spontaneous, great sense of humor, playfulness, etc.
But at the same time, I think when you're looking for a serious, longterm relationship, there are some areas where you want maturity, maturity, and more maturity. I'm SUPER grateful for all the ways my guy is an actual adult – in fact, sometimes his emotional maturity puts me to shame. And I love that.
So, guys and gals, I put together a little checklist of the more "adult" qualities I'm not willing to compromise on in a partner. (Hopefully I won't be shooting myself in the foot with this one... 😅 No one tell MysteryBoy! hehe.)
An immature partner avoids uncomfortable conversations.
A mature partner communicates their needs in a respectful and open manner.
An immature partner only hits you up when they want something from you.
A mature partner wants to commit to you and journey through life together.
An immature partner doesn't think further than the end of the week.
A mature partner has future plans, goals, dreams, and aspirations.
An immature partner works for the money, wastes their free time, and is... kind of boring.
A mature partner pursues their passions, fosters enriching hobbies, and is an interesting person because of it.
An immature partner doesn't work all that hard at the relationship.
A mature partner knows that love takes work, and they're willing to put in whatever blood, sweat, and tears are necessary to make this thing work.
An immature partner talks about themselves.
A mature partner asks about you (and listens to the answer).
An immature partner hangs out with people, but doesn't go deeper.
A mature partner invests in his relationships – he or she has deep friendships, and a great relationship with his or her family (or has at least tried to make that happen – we can't choose our family, after all).
An immature partner puts you down, asks you to change for them, or wants you to compromise on your standards.
A mature partner loves you exactly as you are, warts and all; they celebrate your uniqueness; they don't let ANYONE put you down or make you feel less worthy than you are.
An immature partner is intimidated by your intelligence and jealous of your success, because they're insecure.
A mature partner celebrates with you and wants to see you win – because they're on your team, and they're secure in their own victories.
An immature partner shuts you out and doesn't speak their feelings.
A mature partner invites you in: they shares their emotions and open up about their struggles.
An immature partner lets their emotions control them. They blame circumstance, and fail to see their own shortcomings.
A mature partner controls their emotions, rises above the circumstances, and can acknowledge and learn from their failures.
An immature partner tries to manipulate you with tantrums, emotional blackmail, and withholding affection.
A mature partner NEVER tries to manipulate you. They respect you far too much to insult your intelligence in that way.
An immature partner takes more than they give.
A mature partner gives, and gives, and gives – because they truly love you, and value how much you give them.
An immature partner dwells on the past.
A mature partner looks (with excitement!) to the future.