Since I've moved away from the East Coast, I've been sending sly picture messages of the sky to my buddies back East about how it was so cold I almost had to put on a jacket while I was smoking a cigarette outside. I would get the responses that I wanted, pictures of them bundled up, giving me the finger, and I'd laugh. But now they seem to be freaking out about a snowstorm or something and all I want to do is make fun of them. But instead, I'll give them a list of snow levels in video games that are much harsher than the snowstorm they expect this weekend.
The first on the list is the opening of Uncharted 2. Nathan Drake wakes up on a train after being shot in the stomach and then has to climb up the train that's about to fall off a cliff only to find himself lost in some kind of winter wonderland. Only it's not a wonderland at all, he's bleeding from the stomach in the freezing cold. And I got to say, as long as you don't get shot in the stomach this weekend East Coasters, you'll be fine.
Max Payne 3
The flashback moment in Max Payne 3 is next up and mostly because it's a giant bummer. In the middle of mourning his dead family a bunch of gangsters show up at the graveyard to give Max a piece of their collective hive-mind. Or in this case, bullets. They just want to fill Max up with lead. And hey, if your weekend doesn't involve the mourning the death of your family only to get surprised by a bunch of mobsters with guns, then I'd say you're doing fine.
Star Wars: Battlefront -- Battle of Hoth
This one sounds a little bit cool. But I guess that depends on which side of the battle you're on. If you're on the Empire, then it'll probably be pretty cool 'cause you win the battle. If you're Rebel scum, then it's a total sad-time because you lose the battle. But the one thing both sides have in common is that both end up having some casualties because that's just how war goes. So, losing one of your best friends because you're locked into some dumb space war seems like it'll be a lot worse than not being able to order Dominoes because the snow is to heavy.
[Potential Spoilers Ahead for the Next Game]
The Last of Us
The Winter section of The Last of Us is probably one of the biggest twists of the game. Throughout the whole thing, you don't really know that you'll get to play as Ellie and it came as a wonderful surprise when I played. But the biggest bummer about this whole section is the story contained within it. Nothing is more terrifying than living in a post-apocalyptic world only to be kidnapped by cannibals and then being forced to escape on your own. There's a lot more to it than that but it's still a giant bummer. And you know, since we don't live in that world, the snowstorm might not be as bad as trying to run away from cannibals.