Getting back into the dating scene after a long break is kind of like throwing yourself into a cold swimming pool. All of your senses are shocked, and somehow, some way you get yourself around the idea that someone could possibly like you for who you are.
Life is uncertain, like the Stock market. Trends go up, trends go down. And all the while the companies they represent wait on bated breath for the eligible bachelors of Wall Street to take notice.
At 23 I've had my fair share of relationships, but none successful. Of course, once you have a successful relationship you tend to hang on to it, but in the haze of Tinder hookups and bar hopping hopefuls , you might find yourself in the middle of something...pleasant.
I have this theory that after a long time focusing on "other things" whether it be your job, your fitness, health, beauty whatever, you will find that your stock has gone up. Your dating stock that is...
In the world of dating, there are all kinds of reasons that people become more attractive: Maybe they've found their place in the world, maybe they've got a great job, maybe they've become more independent or self assured. Maybe they've lost weight or gotten hi-lights or they've transformed from the inside out. Maybe they've found the perfect pair of shoes, and their confidence is through the roof.
Whatever the reason, I believe all of us has a spot on the dating Dow Jones.
It might seem counter-productive, or even narcissistic to think of yourself as a publicly traded option, but it's not so far from the truth.
Think about Tinder...what makes you swipe right? What makes you walk up to someone at a bar? For whatever reason...you see value in them.
And when we're young and stupid, trying to fumble and bumble around during college, or right after graduation we might be dumb enough to believe that our stock can't even be traded publicly. We feel shielded from the thought of the opposite sex, doomed to spend our days reading old beat generation novels and contemplating existence with no social life in sight. We read love Horoscopes from Cosmopolitan magazine, wondering...no, hoping that they're right, hoping that today will be our lucky day, and someone will take us out, ask us about our lives, and hopefully, ends up interested to know more.
Don't act like you don't do those things, because you do.
A good friend of mine said, "When it rains it pours." And she was right.
Somehow, when you start to get attention from one person, the rest will follow. There's this magnetic pull, especially when your'e in your twenties, because a lot of people are doing the "fail" dance. It's an uncertain time, and everyone knows you can't make a profit in an uncertain market. The minute that they suspect that you're on the rise...they start to buy your stock.
It's funny, because once you get the attention of another human, it's like the rest of them can feel it. They've got something to fight for, so they start fighting.
You see, once people feel like the Stock is hot, they have to start buying it, for fear of losing out on making the deal of the century. You see, when your stock is down, they trade you. They make you feel like you're the one whose losing, but when one unsuspecting trader notices you from across the trade floor, and takes a chance, the others who traded you long ago will come back to try and snatch you up too.
What I'm trying to say here, is that the world of trying people out, and seeing if you can make something work is just like the stock market. I can't help but wonder what I'm worth.
Sometimes we're Google, and we rise no matter what, making people follow us whether we like it or not, and other times we're Twitter...sliding by into the next month, the next year with a downward trend bigger than the Golden Gate bridge.
Lately, I've felt a little better. I'm getting healthier. I'm working harder. Sometimes I even feel the least bit of adulthood coming out of me when I talk with friends, or when I catch up with family. I even let a pair of purple patent leather Manolo Blahniks go on a consignment site today because I breathed deep and said, "I don't need them. I want them, but I don't need them."
That's about as adult as you can get.
Sometimes you have to do a little insider trading before anyone else will take notice of what you have to offer.