deactivated1484545980DTessStevens
2 years ago1,000+ Views
5 Cheezy Love Quotes Re-Written For Single People
Ah, the single life , the great hunt for someone to share your time with, and hopefully a relationship.
When you're wading in the water of dates with strangers, nights out flirting over cocktails and the occasional marathon texting day it's hard to think you'll ever be with someone longer than a few weeks.
After a few long term relationships and a long period of total singledom I'm finally becoming comfortable with the concept of dating again, but for all of those people who aren't ready...and aren't looking, here are some quotes that might be better once I re-write them for you.

1. "Ever mine, ever thine, ever ours." -Beethoven's "Immortal Beloved"

Becomes

"Ever mine, ever mine, ever mine."

Because honestly, you work hard and you don't have to share a damn thing if you're single, especially your heart. There you go.

2. "I love you to the moon and back."

Becomes.

"I'll love you until the mail man comes."

Because like...ain't nobody got time to go to the moon and shit.

3. "I want all of you forever, you and me, every day." From The Notebook

Becomes

"I want you on Friday night when I'm feeling like I want to dance at the club and don't want to look like a total loser."

Because if you're just casually dating people, sometimes you can't handle all that pressure at once! And if you're single, well, that's pretty much all you want right? Someone to hang out with!

4. "Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about."

Becomes

"Its time to give up on that dude from Tinder who never messaged you back after having a really great conversation. Even though you can't stop thinking about him, he's gone. Like a ghost, so just try to get over it."

Maybe it's a little more long winded, but I guess it communicates the right sentiment? Sorry to rain on your parade. I've found that it's a lot nicer to meet people in real life.

5. "I do love nothing in the world so much as you." By William Shakespeare

Becomes

"I do love nothing in the world so much as me."

Because damn it, Samantha Jones from Sex and the City was right when she broke up with her long time boyfriend Smith, "I love you, but I love me more." And isn't that what we all strive for? To love ourselves just as much as we love somebody else?
So if you're single, don't fret, don't get hung up about Valentine's Day, don't get anxious because you're alone. Some day, some way, when you least expect it...the right person might come along and surprise the hell out of you.
4 comments
AMAZING. @TessStevens you are a goddess of the single life. I want to see more cards like this!! LD
2 years ago·Reply
*** :D
2 years ago·Reply
I'll do my best! haha trying to make sure that I get back out there and live a little at this point in my life! hahah no shame in the single game!
2 years ago·Reply
seems legit
2 years ago·Reply
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