What should I write about? What do I need to write about?
These are the thoughts on what a writer thinks night and day. Usually it's the ego that tries to take over. One minute it'll say "You should write about this." and then the next it'll say "No, no, do something about this and add this and remove that."
I'm a young introverted man with a loud mind with a lot of stories to talk about. But there are times where I don't know where to start. I have approximately eight manuscripts sitting in my computer ready to be sent out to publishers who are looking for the next great entertainer of words and I'm here putting them all together linguistically and psychologically. But it's an overload. It's a beautiful mess. It's like looking at a chalkboard with layered equations but are out of sequence even though they are correct. This is not to be confused with writer's block. It's more like what I call a schizo block: One who wrestles with a mad creator and tries to remain a stable creator.
With this and life going outside of writing it's tough. You have this great sense of productivity, but lack in actually accomplishing them when you don't have the right the material on backing up the information you have and have more of a heart to provide the emotion. And when it becomes too much to handle, you end up fighting and screaming at yourself over nothing. Your ego or for me, your schizo self.
But it's important to know that you are wrestling with yourself and not paying attention to your characters and themes. Aaron Sorkin describes his writing style as "Being on a date for the first time and having the most interesting discussions" and even if it doesn't go well, you still remain friends with that acknowledgement of the story and continue going out with the other troupes. Once you make everything fit, you can add up all you've got and pay the bill.
Going stark raving mad will only scare you into submission and calming yourself and taking the time to sort out everything is more efficient. That's how you'll survive your writing.