nicolejb
2 years ago10,000+ Views
All of you probably know this by now, but I'm the master of all things sexy *giggles, hides under the table* No really, I know how to be just the right amount alluring and funny at the same time.
So when artist Loryn Brantz perfectly described all of my moves, I was shocked, and actually thought...

HOW DID SHE KNOW MY SECRETS!?

So, I came to Vingle to share these masterful tips. Here's how to show your moves in bed.

Scratch his back! Make it a little rough!

Gently Bite His Ear! Also whisper sweet nothings into his ear like: "I like your ear lobe!" or "Run while you still can!"

Leave little hearts on the mirror, windows, and well...everywhere. Men love little hearts. They also love cleaning!

Hide under his bed while he's in the bathroom. When he comes back into the room... grab his ankles and yell, "GOTCHA!"

Wrap the sheets around your bottom half and pretend you are a mermaid!

Before coitus, stuff peanut butter into your bra. Men love squishy boobs, especially if they are filled with tasty peanut butter!

Continue to whisper sweet nothings into his ear, including "Chipotle Burrito." Men love burritos.

Even better-- Turn yourself into a Chipotle Burrito!

Hide a toy car in your vagina for him to find. Men love cars.

Have his family and close friends get Chipotle takeout, come and hide in the closet, and yell "surprise!" when you are done making love. Men love burritos.

Special thanks to @danidee and @AlloBaber for helping me with this one. You all are an inspiration. Hopefully these tips can help people out there!
51 comments
THE TOY CAR NEVER STOPS BEING PERFECT AND DISTURBING AT THE SAME TIME.
2 years agoReply
Sorry, I didn't mean to @arnelli so hard.
2 years agoReply
Hahaha I hope you all at least giggled a bit @AkashBhojraj @StetsonCampbell @kariima @MarkoKaRiambo
2 years agoReply
Hahahahaha this has me dyyyying. 馃槅 amazing card @nicolejb
2 years agoReply
hysterical and horror. omg @nicolejb
2 years agoReply
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